Celebrating Hippo’s 43rd Birthday!

Photo Courtesy of Thairath

BANGKOK – The minister of Environmental Resources, Mr. Suwit Khunkitti, attended Kao Din Zoo today to celebrate the birthday of Mae Mali (Mae meaning Mother, Mali meaning Jasmine), a 43-year-old hippopotamus. A giant birthday cake was placed near the hippo enclosure for Mae Mali to enjoy. People with the name Mali were also allowed free day-passes to the zoo.

Mr. Khunkitti was the acting president for the widely publicized event, ‘Happy 43rd
Birthday Hippo Mae Mali.’ The hippo is widely known zoo-star and a popular attraction for children and families. Mali was originally brought to Thailand from the Netherlands and has been at Kao Din Zoo for a long time; long enough at least to have given birth to 15 young hippos.

Mae Mali also has another pet name called, ‘grandma hippopotamus’.

The average life expectancy of a hippo is around 40 years. Mr. Khunkitti emphasized the great care the zoo has taken to look after Mali, ensuring her good health even in old age. Her birthday cake was made from various fruits and vegetables and Mali was allowed eat all she wanted.

Students from schools, and fans of Mali were invited to the celebration. Mr. Khunkitti led the birthday tune and the children followed him. Mae Mali seemed to enjoy the gigantic cake as well. Wasn’t it just a great day?!

Courtesy of Thairath

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak

Starbucks Laptop Robber

Photo Courtesy of Khaosod

BANGKOK – The Starbucks laptop robber was arrested yesterday after a university student informed police in Lumphinee that her laptop was stolen in Starbucks, Lang Suan branch. Police reviewed surveillance footage of the store and found the man.

The video clearly showed the man in the act of theft. After in-depth investigation, the police identified him as Mr. Sathaporn Sruangsiri, a criminal who was just released after a year and six months imprisonment for stealing in Starbucks.

The man loves Starbucks. He admitted to stealing a HP laptop from the Central Ladprao branch before stealing again at the Starbucks in Lang Suan. He sold them for 18,000 baht each at Pantip IT Mall and had planned to use the money for alcohol, prostitution and gambling.

During questioning by police, Mr. Sruangsiri said that Starbucks is a good place to steal because it’s where good and high quality laptops come together.

Courtesy of Khaosod

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak

Noodle Lady Gets Pumped

PHUKET – A Toyota Yaris, plate number 6980, lost control and slammed into a noodle trolley, driving it through a pole. The poor noodle lady was injured while the driver and passenger of the vehicle walked away without a scratch. The noodle lady said it was not the first time it had happened to her.

“This time I was boiling up some meatballs and I could see them coming but couldn’t do anything, it all happened so quickly. The next second the pot, the trolley, the soup, we’re all a mess.” Mrs. Yaowanit Saksrisuwan recalled.

Witnesses said the Yaris came into the corner at high speed, lost control and slammed into the noodle trolley, throwing it against a pole and into a townhouse.

For Saksrisuwan, this was tenth time she had been put in danger; she has had cars fly straight into the trolley and sometimes, when lucky, narrowly miss her when they either hit a curb or road island in front of the trolley and change direction at the last moment.

The accidents have usually occurred at around 2 – 3 a.m.; the time of free traffic, when people drive faster than usual. Saksrisuwan said that drink driving and the design of the corner make it hard for people to judge distance. She has been injured over seven times in similar accidents involving vehicles and naturally has anxieties about having cars fly into her while she’s cooking noodles. Saksrisuwan has contacted authorities in the area repeatedly but nobody has to come inspect the road.

Courtesy of Siang Tai News

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak

Invincible Taxi Driver

Photo Courtesy of Thairath

PATHUMTHANI – Seven thieves robbed a taxi and slit the driver’s neck before they escaped. Luckily, the knife didn’t pierce the skin. The taxi driver’s neck only showed red marks and informed police immediately afterwards. The driver believes it’s the miracle of the Great grand father Buddha he wears around his neck at all times.

Around 02.30a.m. on September 21st, Mr. Pongsakorn Roongreung, 27-years-old, a taxi driver, reported the theft to Lieutenant Colonel Somchai Ratman in Pathumthani. The driver said that there were seven thieves and that they attacked him and stole 3,000 baht before escaping.

Mr. Pongsakorn stated that he was driving an orange cab, plate number TY 1338 looking for passengers when he reached the front of a restaurant in Pathumthani. As he arrived, there were seven men aged between 20-25 years who hopped into the cab requesting to be dropped off at Saparn Soong district. As the cab approached the back of Narinthong Housing Complex, one of the culprits told Pongsakorn to pull over because he wanted to throw up. When the cab came to a stop, two of the culprits pressed guns to his waist; another held a knife to his neck, demanding cash. Pongsakorn drew out 3,000 baht from his wallet and gave it to them.

Pongsakorn was then forced leave the cab. The thieves took the money and the keys to the car. Then the man with the knife came from behind him and tried to slit his throat. All seven of the men then ran away. Pongsakorn was in great distress but when he touched his neck he was surprised to find there was no wound. He reached for his mobile phone and called his mother who brought him a spare key, before droving to the police station.

“Those thieves slit my throat hard with a knife but it didn’t do a thing. I believe it’s the miracle of ‘the great grand father walking on a salt-less sea.’ It’s the Buddha necklace that I have on me at all times,” said Pongsakorn in amazement.

Courtesy of Thairath

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak

Red Light from the Krasu Spirit

Photo Courtesy of INN News

AYUDTHAYA – Bang Sai villagers from Ayudthaya are panic-stricken after seeing a crimson light float through the air. The light floated from the ground to the tip of a coconut tree. Villagers believe it is the light of the Krasu Spirit – a type of ghost that possesses the female body, eats the spirit, and floats with its head daggling internal organs.

Miss Soithip Chuetchai, 24-years-old, said that she usually slept with the windows opened. She had woken up at 01.00a.m. to go to the bathroom and through the window saw a large glowing red light. The light flashed in slow rhythmic beats. The light floated from the ground up until it reached the top of the coconut tree. She picked up her phone and managed to capture 32 seconds of footage.

Soithip admitted she was extremely scared and returned to bed and never left it again until morning. She believed it was the Krasu spirit. Fishermen from the same village have also seen the same light during their night shifts.

It is believed that two families in the village are the heir of the Krasu Spirit breed. These two families never go out to do activities with other people and are strange in their behaviors according to people in the village.

Courtesy of INN News

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak

Drink Driving Oral Sex

LAMPANG – A man died after crashing his Vigo pick-up truck into a tree; his 25-year-old female passenger was severely injured. The body of the man appeared to be naked from the bottom half, his pants and underwear shoved in the backseat, while the woman’s jeans were also pulled down below her waist. Four empty beer cans were found in the back seat. The two had been drinking while driving.

Police officers arrived at the accident to find a mangled bronze Toyota Vigo pick-up, plate number 8243, compressed against a large tree trunk. The male driver was crushed in the front seat, wearing a green and white checkered t-shirt. His lower body was naked, his neck broken, and his right arm sliced open. His name was Mr. Paisarn Rattanachat, 41-years-old.

In the passenger seat was Mrs. Riyada Thakthon, 25-years-old. She had been badly injured and was unable to move. The rescue team managed to lift her out of the vehicle; her jeans pulled down below her waist, showing pubic hair. Officers pulled her pants up and wrapped her in a blanket before sending her off on an ambulance.

The woman’s right leg was broken and her body wounded – she was sent to Lampang hospital immediately. Four cans of beer were found in the vehicle along with the dead man’s pants in the back seat.

Police assumed that the two were drinking and driving while engaging in oral sex. At a certain climax the man to lost control of his truck and the vehicle ended up in a tree.

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak

Gay Man Rammed Against Bus Stop

Photo Courtesy of Khaosod

BANGKOK – A gay man was crushed dead last night at 02.00a.m. by a pick-up truck. He was standing at a bus stop when the vehicle veered towards him. Lieutenant Mondate Manam from Ladprao police station arrived at the scene to find a black Ford Ranger pick-up, plate number 1422 slammed against a bus stop; the gay man sandwiched in between.

The victim appeared to be a 19-year-old named Mr. Supanut Yamsomjit, wearing flower pattern shorts and a sexy black top. After the victim had been hit by the truck, the advertisement light box near the bus stop further dropped on his body. The victim’s stomach had large lacerations and bruises. The side of the torso was almost torn in two and the neck had snapped backwards. It was too late by the time rescue teams got to him.

The pick-up truck driver escaped and is now on the lam with police in pursuit.

Mrs. Wilai Yamsomjit, 52-years-old, the mother of the victim said that Supanut was her youngest son who had a strange habit of dressing like a woman but he managed to make a living on his own so she was never worried.

Courtesy of Khaosod

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak

Note: It is interesting and perhaps disconcerting that this story has little substance once you take away the victims sexual orientation. The fact that the victim was gay seems to be the focus, not the tragedy. But then from the reporting perspective, it almost seems necessary to do this because it is important to give the person an identity – even if this identity is a kind of cardboard cut-out. I guess you can’t ask for much more depth from a short report like this; journalists simply don’t have the time. It’s an interesting dilemma. Adrian.

Nine Buffalos Struck by Lightning

Photo Courtesy of Thairath

PRACHINBURI – Lightning struck nine buffalos in Prachinburi. Five of the females were pregnant at the time. The owner had used a copper wire fence to create a boundary which ultimately caused the buffalo’s deaths.

Mrs. Sudjai Pompu, 56-years-old, in Prachinburi took off to the farm she had rented to raise buffalo cattle. When she arrived, she found all nine of her buffalo’s dead; in value of over 200,000 baht. The cause of the deaths was not immediately apparent, so she informed Mr. Somlak Chueythong, the head minister of the town to solve the mystery.

After examination of the carcasses, all buffalos appeared to have been grilled by lightning. The skin could be scraped right off the bodies.

It was discovered that a wild thunder storm had taken place the night before, and that the copper wired fencing constructed by the owner, played a big part in the electrocutions. It was also discovered that five of the buffalos were about to give birth.

The agricultural ministry helped the owner by buying off two of the dead buffalos for 15,000 baht each, and a slaughter house stepped in to take the rest for 5,000 baht each, adding to a total value of 65,000 baht for the owner.

Courtesy of Thairath

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak

Three Legs and a Big Head

Photo Courtesy of Daily News

YALA – A reporter arrived at Yala hospital to find a newborn with three legs and an unusually large head. The baby belonged to Mr. Maaeteng and Mrs. Niasuya Chetae and was delivered by Caesarean on August 28th.

The additional leg is the wrong way around and juts out from between the two normal legs. The baby’s sex is undetermined.

Doctor Guladate Techanapharak, the head chief of Yala hospital said that the baby has a deformed structure and is the forth from this family. The child’s internal organs are out of place; the gall bladder is not sealed correctly and the opening of the anus and penis are one and the same. The doctor said the baby was an unsuccessful twin because the x-ray showed that the baby had two hip bones structures.

The first solution used to save the baby was to create a new anus to prevent any feces from mixing with urine. The next step will be to relocate the baby’s anus to the front of its stomach. After that the parents have to wait until the child is older for further surgery.

Doctor Guladate also said that the baby is under close supervision as there is a vulnerability to pathogens.

The family of the baby will face great financial challenges - at the moment, they can barely afford the travel costs of visiting their baby.

The parents revealed that they work at a rubber plantation but are not getting much income to look after their four kids. The mother, after the operation, is still resting at home and cannot go out to find money.

Courtesy of Daily News

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak

Braces Kill Ninth Grader

CHONBURI - A ninth grader died after getting braces from a market merchant. The mother revealed that her daughter had shown weird symptoms up until her death.

Police Lieutenant Jirasak Abphaeng from Bang La Moong police station in Chonburi received a report that a girl had been admitted to Bang La Moong hospital and died mysteriously without an apparent cause. The Lieutenant began an inquest.

Arriving at the hospital, he found a crying relative clinging to the corpse of 14-year-old Sirilak, a ninth grader from one high school in Pattaya, Chonburi province.
The victim had been dead for two hours but her body showed no signs of physical injury. Her skin, however, was completely yellow. Inside her mouth was a fashionable alignment of braces; a pink set.

The victim’s mother, Mrs. Paengsri Philong, 38-years-old, told the story through tears. That morning she had tried to wake her daughter up to shower before school but found her to be unusually quiet. The mother stepped closer to find that she was not breathing. She quickly sent her daughter to the hospital but it was too late.

Mrs. Paengsri further stated that two months prior to her daughter’s death, they had gone to a downtown market to buy a set of Fashion Feed braces from a street vendor. Ever since the braces were fitted, her daughter experienced strange symptoms like depression; she became less talkative and wouldn’t answer questions she was asked.
The mother believes that her daughter’s death has something to do with the braces.

Police officers found no physical clues and are waiting on an autopsy report.
Lieutenant Jirasak further said that there are a lot of illegal and uncertified braces, as well as dental clinics due to a growing demand for cheap and fashionable braces. He said that a lot of the time the equipment and materials used for the braces are dangerous and toxic; and over a time period, can cause serious harm to the body, even death.

Results from the postmortem are expected to answer this mystery.

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak