Some People Just Suck at Dying

Photo Courtesy of Thairath

AYUDTHAYA – A woman has made ten attempts on her own life, from hanging to stabbing to drowning herself; most recently she tried to overdose on pills – all in the hope of escaping her accumulating debts. She has been lucky and survived all of the attempts – but she doesn’t see herself as ‘lucky’ at all.

Thongkam Pluekchan, 51-years-old, carried Laor Pluekchan’s body, his wife, to Uthai Hospital’s emergency room. Laor was foaming at the mouth and choking on her own vomit.

Doctors saved her in time, cleaned out her stomach and put her in the care of nurses.
Doctors said Laor must see a psychologist to regain her mental health.

Thongkam, the husband, said that his wife had been stressed and that she took 20 stress relief pills, 20 sleeping pills, and 30 gastric pills at once.

Thongkam came home, found his wife foaming on the floor; tried to rush her to hospital but as soon as he kneeled down to carry her away, she turned to him and said she wanted to die at the house and not the hospital. She told him to leave her alone.

Laor lay on the floor and continued to foam until she passed out. Without another thought, the husband rushed her to the hospital.

Thongkam said that his wife has tried to commit suicide since August. The first time, she hung herself but was rescued by her husband. Then she tried to stab herself but her husband managed to take the knife away and was himself, stabbed in the process. Next she tried to smash her head to a pole; jumped from a bridge into a river to drown; ate a hundred pain killers. She has been admitted to the same hospital ten times and has been saved by the same medical team each time.

Thongkam also said that he has to keep knives, sharp objects, ropes, and detergents away from his wife because she will use anything to kill herself.

Laor is deep in debt from three loan sharks who threaten her safety when she doesn’t pay up.

Her waking life is full of fear and anxiety and she wants to die to escape her debts. She said she’s getting sick now anyway, with a nerve problem in her right leg which makes walking painful. A work salary alone isn’t enough to repay the debts. She’s found it hard to even keep up food money. Every day is a new opportunity to die. Her husband has resigned from his job to keep an eye on her.

“Even right now, at this moment, I still haven’t given up the idea of suicide; I still want to die to escape my debt. No one can change my mind that easily.”

Courtesy of Thairath

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak

PE Teacher Kicks the Crap Out Of Student

Photo Courtesy of Daily News

AYUDTHAYA – A physical education teacher jump-kicked his grade seven student, breaking the child’s arm and hand. The 13-year-old boy had to get a cast, from hand to elbow. It all started in a soccer game.

The boy explained that his class had been playing soccer on a school field with teacher Bank (name) on the opposing team. While Bank was bringing up the ball, the boy budged into him and teacher Bank let the ball slip out of the line. The teacher, however, used his hand to stop the ball, trying to continue.

The boy rushed in and pinned the ball out of the teacher’s hand because he realized the ball was already out and should belong to his team. Bank became angry at this and did a jumping side kick into the boy, first hitting his side; then came the round house kicks.

“I saw the teacher angry so I apologized but he didn’t let it go. He forced me to kneel down and lick his shoes. I refused and he did jumping kicks into my side and when I couldn’t stand the pain anymore, I lifted up my arm to block but the final kick sent a snap through my arm and hand and I suddenly felt extreme pain. I then shouted out really loud and he left me on the field. He ordered everybody then to stop playing and return to the classroom. After I got home, I told my dad of the hand and so we went to get X-rayed. My arm was broken, and my hand was shattered because he kicked me so many times,” the boy recalled.

The father of the boy went to see the headmaster after the incident to settle the conflict but the headmaster said that Teacher Bank had disappeared and has not answer his phone. The father insisted that if Bank doesn’t show up, he will inform the police and sue Teacher Bank for hurting his son.

Courtesy of Daily News

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak

Disabled Girl Raped Now 8-Months Pregnant

Photo Courtesy of Khaosod

SARABURI – An 18-year-old girl who is blind, deaf, and mentally impaired was raped and is now eight months pregnant. Her mother sells fish at the markets, leaving the girl at home alone for most of the day – a perfect opportunity for some creep.

Two months ago the mother noticed her daughter was pregnant and reported it to the police but nobody did anything.

Outraged neighbors wrote letters to the Paweena Women and Child Protection Foundation for help and since then police have been pursuing the culprit and said when the girl gives birth, they will examine the DNA, and bring the ‘motherfucker to justice’.

Mrs. Paweena Hongsakul, the founder of Women and Child Protection Foundation, along with Saraburi districts chief and team, traveled to the victim’s home.
The 18-year-old was lying on a stone table next to a stairwell; her stomach rounded. The mother is a fish merchant in Ayudthaya; she leaves the home for work at 03.00a.m. and returns at 10.00p.m. each day.

In the last two months she noticed her daughter had gained weight and had been vomiting. The mother found out she was pregnant and informed the police. She suspected that someone invaded her home and raped her daughter more than once because of unexplained bruises on her body. The police found two teenage suspects but let them go because of insufficient evidence.

Mrs. Hongsakul sent the girl to be tested at the local hospital and found out that she had already been pregnant for 8 months.

The Foundation is doing everything they can to help catch the culprits who raped the helpless girl.

“How could they do something like that? It’s just…” The mother said in an interview, tears forming around her eyes.

Courtesy of Khaosod

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak

Taxi Driver Rapes Foreign English Teacher

Photo Courtesy of Thairath

SAMUI – Police arrested a taxi driver who raped an English teacher from the UK. The victim identified the man but the driver has denied all allegations.

Mr. Chokchai Sompong, a taxi driver on Samui Island was taken into custody for raping a female foreigner, also an English teacher on the island. The victim confirmed that the man was the rapist.

She recalled getting into a taxi outside a night club in Samui back to her apartment. During the ride, she fell asleep because she was really drunk. She woke up again in someone else’s room and was suddenly punched three times in the stomach by, then violently raped.

The taxi driver dropped her off on Lamai beach and took 2,000 baht from her wallet while she was still unconscious. The driver denied the rape allegations and police are testing DNA to verify the truth, though they are fairly certain that Mr. Sompong is the rapist.

Courtesy of Thairath

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak

Stone Mortars Are In Fashion

Photo Courtesy of Thairath

PATTAYA – A man killed an Agogo dance girl from Fun Room Pub, smashing her head with a stone mortar while he was making a new recipe for dips. The culprit confessed to buying amphetamines with the money he made from selling recycled trash. Alcohol and drugs had played a part in the irrational killing.

Police discovered Mrs. Buaphan Prapuangphan, 40-years-old, rotting in apartment room A7, South Pattaya. The police noted that the deceased had been in a fling with a trash collector, Mr. Pratueng Gaewlamun, 39-years-old, and so took him into custody.

The trash man confessed he had not been with victim for very long and on the night of September 16th had a very violent argument about the fact that he had used his money to buy drugs and alcohol.

The victim also learnt that the trash man had been having affairs with women in the trash business. Sick of hearing it, Mr. Gaewlamun, the killer, picked up the stone mortar he was using to make a new dip recipe for grilled chicken, and slammed it on the victim’s head. The new dip poured over the victim’s face and the spices made her scream. The trash man didn’t stop and continued to pound her face into a new shape and left the corpse in the room.

Courtesy of Thairath

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak

No Anal Sex … Or Die!

Photo Courtesy of Khaosod

NONTHABURI – A male university student killed and mutilated the corpse of a gay man, stuffing the victims flesh into a big water tank. The killer and the victim knew each other from Camfrog and met up for sex. The killer asked for fellatio but the victim wanted anal. Angry, the student strangled the gay man to death, took his debit card, withdrew all his money, and stole his car. The killer went to buy a big knife and a large water tank in hope of hiding the dead body but was unable to evade police capture.

Police arrested the 20-year-old university student, Mr. Nutt Chayanon, and seized one mobile phone, a car key to a Toyota Camry 2.0G, a laptop, and a digital camera.

Police said that Miss Sansinee Sommai informed the police that her brother, Mr. Thitirat Sommai, 37-years-old, had disappeared.

When Mr. Chayanon, the killer, withdrew the money from Krung Thai ATM in front of a 7-11, he was tracked down, and later taken into custody.

Mr. Chayanon confessed that he had known the victim from Camfrog and had met up at a shopping mall where the victim asked if he could suck Mr. Chayanon off for 1,000 baht. Mr. Chayanon agreed and they both went to a private room.

After oral sex, the victim was desperate for anal sex but Mr. Chayanon, the killer, said no. The two got into a big argument and fought; the killer jumped the victim and strangled him to death. After that, he went to buy two water tanks and a sharp knife at Big C’s convenient Store.

Next, he went back to the room and sliced the corpse into fine pieces, filling the two tanks with the victims flesh, before hiding them in an abandoned house in Nonthaburi, near his premises.

Police were later informed of the discovery of the two water tanks full of flesh. They found two blue 100-litre plastic tanks inside the house, lids carefully closed. Even experienced police officers became sick when they opened the plastic tanks containing the putrid flesh. The first tank had the lower body, a chunk of the victim’s waistline, two legs, and a pair of knees. Also in the same tank was a black trash bag containing both arms and a chunk of shoulder. Officers felt like they were playing some kind of gruesome jigsaw puzzle.

The second tank, they found the victims head submerged in a pile of bloated flesh.
Officers decided to empty the tank, and found the torso, stomach, and intestines along with other internal organs at the bottom. The victim’s mouth had been taped and underneath they found the blanket used to wrap the body.

“It was extremely gruesome. I have never smelt anything rot like that.” Colonel Theerasak Sriprasert expressed his disgust.

Later at the police station, when asked of the motivation, Mr. Chayanon, the 20-year-old killer explained the situation with simplicity. “Do you really, really want to know the truth?! He wanted to do me up the anus! I was happy with him sucking my cock. But anal is just absurd!”

Is that so? Is that the only thing that’s absurd?

Courtesy of Khaosod

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak

Chaos after Road and Soi Signs Stolen

Photo Courtesy of Thairath

CHONBURI – More than a hundred road signs and Soi signs worth over 10,000 baht each were stolen from Chonburi. With only sign-less poles to guide them, people have been left confused and lost in direction.

Residents in Samed district, Chonburi, informed the counsel that road signs were being stolen, both on roads and in Soi’s. Outraged citizens said the sign-less poles are a sign that the city is full of thieves.

Mr. Yutthana Suphaphan, the head minister of Samed District Centre confirmed that the signs were stolen. He said he will not pursue the case because the road and Soi signs are the property of Chonburi. Suphaphan told residents that Chonburi Province City Centre is responsible for putting up new signs.

There has been no mention of police.

Courtesy of Thairath

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak

Celebrating Hippo’s 43rd Birthday!

Photo Courtesy of Thairath

BANGKOK – The minister of Environmental Resources, Mr. Suwit Khunkitti, attended Kao Din Zoo today to celebrate the birthday of Mae Mali (Mae meaning Mother, Mali meaning Jasmine), a 43-year-old hippopotamus. A giant birthday cake was placed near the hippo enclosure for Mae Mali to enjoy. People with the name Mali were also allowed free day-passes to the zoo.

Mr. Khunkitti was the acting president for the widely publicized event, ‘Happy 43rd
Birthday Hippo Mae Mali.’ The hippo is widely known zoo-star and a popular attraction for children and families. Mali was originally brought to Thailand from the Netherlands and has been at Kao Din Zoo for a long time; long enough at least to have given birth to 15 young hippos.

Mae Mali also has another pet name called, ‘grandma hippopotamus’.

The average life expectancy of a hippo is around 40 years. Mr. Khunkitti emphasized the great care the zoo has taken to look after Mali, ensuring her good health even in old age. Her birthday cake was made from various fruits and vegetables and Mali was allowed eat all she wanted.

Students from schools, and fans of Mali were invited to the celebration. Mr. Khunkitti led the birthday tune and the children followed him. Mae Mali seemed to enjoy the gigantic cake as well. Wasn’t it just a great day?!

Courtesy of Thairath

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak

Starbucks Laptop Robber

Photo Courtesy of Khaosod

BANGKOK – The Starbucks laptop robber was arrested yesterday after a university student informed police in Lumphinee that her laptop was stolen in Starbucks, Lang Suan branch. Police reviewed surveillance footage of the store and found the man.

The video clearly showed the man in the act of theft. After in-depth investigation, the police identified him as Mr. Sathaporn Sruangsiri, a criminal who was just released after a year and six months imprisonment for stealing in Starbucks.

The man loves Starbucks. He admitted to stealing a HP laptop from the Central Ladprao branch before stealing again at the Starbucks in Lang Suan. He sold them for 18,000 baht each at Pantip IT Mall and had planned to use the money for alcohol, prostitution and gambling.

During questioning by police, Mr. Sruangsiri said that Starbucks is a good place to steal because it’s where good and high quality laptops come together.

Courtesy of Khaosod

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak

Noodle Lady Gets Pumped

PHUKET – A Toyota Yaris, plate number 6980, lost control and slammed into a noodle trolley, driving it through a pole. The poor noodle lady was injured while the driver and passenger of the vehicle walked away without a scratch. The noodle lady said it was not the first time it had happened to her.

“This time I was boiling up some meatballs and I could see them coming but couldn’t do anything, it all happened so quickly. The next second the pot, the trolley, the soup, we’re all a mess.” Mrs. Yaowanit Saksrisuwan recalled.

Witnesses said the Yaris came into the corner at high speed, lost control and slammed into the noodle trolley, throwing it against a pole and into a townhouse.

For Saksrisuwan, this was tenth time she had been put in danger; she has had cars fly straight into the trolley and sometimes, when lucky, narrowly miss her when they either hit a curb or road island in front of the trolley and change direction at the last moment.

The accidents have usually occurred at around 2 – 3 a.m.; the time of free traffic, when people drive faster than usual. Saksrisuwan said that drink driving and the design of the corner make it hard for people to judge distance. She has been injured over seven times in similar accidents involving vehicles and naturally has anxieties about having cars fly into her while she’s cooking noodles. Saksrisuwan has contacted authorities in the area repeatedly but nobody has to come inspect the road.

Courtesy of Siang Tai News

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak