More Chicken in a Chicken

In Courtesy of Thairath

UDONTHANI – A chicken in Udon grew ten toes while another grew nine. Both are well and alive. The owner revealed that they were the only two left out of 40 chickens in a farm robbery. Very strange indeed.

Samroeng, the owner of the chicken farm, said that he had 40 chickens in total. One night he locked the farm house and went to sleep and discovered the next morning that almost all his chickens were robbed. Only two were left in the corner of the farm house: one was a black ten-toed chicken, another was the same breed but with white feathers and nine toes. He can’t understand why the robbers didn’t take these two chickens. Maybe because they have more toes; are genetically imperfect; or would be more difficult to sell or even eat themselves? Some sort of chicken discrimination was definitely involved.

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak

Explosion in Phone Booth

In Courtesy of Thairath

PATTAYA – A young brat dropped his own bomb – and not of the swearing kind – while he was in a public phone booth.

The booth’s glass shattered and the young brat was caught in the middle of the explosion. He gave the excuse to police that somebody threw a bomb at him. Police didn’t buy the story.

Civilians were stunned by the explosion that detonated inside the booth. Police arrived on the scene to find the 17-year-old lying severely injured and was sent to hospital.

Despite his defense that two unknown men stopped by on their motorbikes, police concluded that basically, the brat liked to carry around bombs for fun, and to threaten people with.

He went to a public phone booth and accidentally dropped a bomb inside, injuring himself. And doesn’t the photo look nice and set up?

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak

Right Out Of An 80’s Porn Film

Picture of the beach where the sex show occurred - Courtesy of Thairath

PATTAYA – Bemusement, curiosity, shock characterized a steamy Pattaya beach as crowds of locals and tourists drew together to witness two Russian couples get it on.

One couple stepped into the ocean and started fucking. No surprise, police officers chased them into the water and dragged them out by their nether regions.

All four Russians were in their swimsuits and appeared to be drunk. The girls were topless and the boys were bottomless – nipples and penises erect in the hot sun.

The four kissed and caressed each other in a sexual exposé set against the beautiful backdrop of Pattaya beach. Parents covered the eyes of their children.

As the show gained attention from hundreds of onlookers, one couple tip-toed into the water and started fucking; waves of water slapping between their bodies. Officers had a time hard getting through the crowd towards them. No surprise, the Russians had no idea why they were arrested.

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak

Waterfall Rape

In Courtesy of Thairath

CHONBURI – Police arrested an electrician for tricking two girls – a first grader and a kindergartener – to a waterfall and raping them. They were both victims of the electrician’s sudden sexual outburst under the waterfall.

On the day of the incident, the rapist drove a car to pick up the two little girls, telling them he would take them to a lovely waterfall nearby. The girls believed him because he had always visited them and bought lots of snacks and drinks.

As they arrived at the waterfall, the two little girls took off their clothes to play in the water. The scene lit up the electrician’s overwhelming lust. He chased after them under the waterfall, pinned them down, and began raping them aggressively. Such a scene.

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak

Practiced Robbery Ends Well

In Courtesy of Thairath

CHONBURI – Civilians in Chonburi panicked as four robbers barged into a gold jeweler in the middle of the city, taking a girl hostage - only no one knew it was part of a training scenario designed to test emergency services.

Police teams joined in for the practice to test out new strategies against gold store robberies. The police created a flawless scenario that seemed completely real; civilians were running everywhere in panic.

The four actors came on motorbikes pretending to be robbers, entered the gold store and stole 20 Baht of gold. After that the four men escaped through the Pattaya route road, where at the end of one Soi, police managed to take down two, while the other two escaped.

They were eventually cornered and took a young girl as hostage. The police began a dramatic negotiation with the fake culprit until he finally gave in. Of course he did!

The whole scenario took 29 minutes to complete.

The police and the four culprits finally walked off together, chatting and laughing.

This was the event of the day that left civilians in Chonburi in total shock and terror.

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak

Baby Hippo Found!

In Courtesy of Thairath

CHIANG MAI – The baby hippo that mysteriously disappeared from Chiang Mai night Safari was finally found dead and rotting in a sewage drain.

After a two day search by safari staff, police teams and several hunting dogs, a safari staff member found something stuck in the sewage drain of the animal clinic building.

The staff member discovered the putrescent body of the baby hippo, which had been dead for no less than 4-5 days.

The safari supervisor, Narong Thananuwat, said that it was very strange because the sewage drains where the hippo was found had already been investigated a few days earlier during a big search. Narong claimed to be extremely happy that the hippo was finally found (despite it being dead) within the safari, after being bombarded by rumors and comments that the area supervisor wasn’t doing a good job of zoning animals.

“When we found the dead hippo in the drain, I was really glad, just a relief you know,” he said.

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak

Thailand: Man Hurts Elephant, Elephant Hurts Man?

In Courtesy of Thairath

KONKAEN – Wild elephants stomped a man to near death, leaving him in a critical condition with crushed ribs and blood bleeding out of his ears. His relatives weren’t so sad – they just had to deal with it – he had been stumped by an elephant, after all.

The victim had been walking across a field after fishing at a lake nearby, when he was approached by two wild elephants. Witnesses say the elephants encircled him and beat the crap out of him out of him for no good reason. The man finally managed to get a distance away from the wild elephants, and was helped by civilians passing by.

After the incident, people have been visiting the city council requesting that they look out for the elephants and get them away from hurting people. The council simply asked: how would we do that?

Will we hear any more about these malicious elephants hell-bent on crushing people?

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak

Lin Ping Gives Bamboo on Father’s Day

In Courtesy of Thairath

CHIANG MAI – Impressive, Lin Ping, our superstar panda gave his father a bamboo bunch on Father’s day. The panda family was nose to nose through the cage, with thousands of tourists watching.

On Father’s day, Chiang Mai Zoo was packed again. Thousands of people rushed to the Lin Ping clinic area for a 30-minute show. Lin Ping reportedly weighed 16.2 kilograms; his heart rate, 120 beats per minute; and his body temperature was 37 degrees Celsius. He is in good shape.

The head of Panda Experimentation and Show Thailand came out to the clinic area to play with the little Lin Ping, ordering it to lie down and sit up and duck, and so on. At the end the officers let Lin Ping meet with his father, Chuang Chuang, through the metal cage and under the eyes of thousands of people the show ended on a climatic note. The Father panda, to everybody’s surprise, did not reach out with his arm but used his nose to smell Lin Ping, each smelling each other. The audience wowed at the father-and-son love. Some more pathetic members of the audience even cried.

The experimentation team officer gave Lin Ping a bunch of bamboo sticks decorated with carrots and heart-shaped apples for Lin Ping to give to his father as a gift. Chuang Chuang gladly accepted. The Panda experimentation team added further that they were so surprised the father panda was so calm and loving today.

Mmm, from the picture though, clearly Lin Ping was being held by the dude in blue. All the things about Father’s Day, and the bunch of bamboo sticks decorated by carrots and apples – isn’t that like a human thing? Is Lin Ping another soap opera that manages to squeeze out a couple of cheap tears and pull a few loose heart strings?

Still, it seems like what everyone needs.

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak

Dead Monk and Not So Dead Dog

In Courtesy of Khaosod

CHACHOENGSAO – Car killed a monk and his dog at six o’clock in the morning. The driver made a run for it.

The monk, named Seng Modnut, 69-years-old, had been a monk for nine years. His corpse lay face down on the bitumen in a blood puddle.

Both his arms still clutched a holy food bowl. Next to him were a pair of glasses and a lunch box. Three paces to the right, a Thai breed male brown dog lay on the ground.

The rescue team thought the dog was dead, but later found it moaning in pain. Both its hind legs had been snapped as it tried to use its front legs to move closer to the monk’s body.

The affection and love the dog showed for the monk put police officers on the scene in a mood of sorrow and deep sympathy.

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak

The Hippo Vanishes

In Courtesy of Thairath

CHIANG MAI – Two-month-old Hippopotamus from Chiang Mai Night Safari mysteriously disappeared from its cage.

The baby hippo was relocated last week due to cold weather around its cage to a vet for recovery. The hippo weighs around 50 kilograms and is two months old.

At the safari’s animal hospital center, there was no bathtub or a pond for the baby hippo to be in so it was sent outside where the safari provided a special warm water pond for the hippo to be in – the pond was completely caged, with extra caretakers and security watching the hippo day and night.

In the morning however, the hippo had disappeared from its cage.

The hippo was seen submerging under water for some time and then disappeared from the cage. The pond is an artificial container placed in the ground, so the possibility of the baby hippo digging its way out is impossible.

Later on, the safari’s officers found footprints thought to be the baby hippo’s in the woods a few kilometers away from the safari. The hippo is still missing. And the safari is still searching.

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak