Transsexual In Coma

Photo Courtesy of Siang Tai News

PHUKET – A transsexual in Phuket thought she was Spiderman. She climbed to the 5th floor of an apartment building into a tourist’s room to steal valuables. It rained unexpectedly and began to storm. On the way back down she slipped and fell head first into the ground.

Ananthachai Gaewsumalee, 35-years-old, owner of Beach First mansion reported the incident to police. He said the transsexual had fallen from his mansion at the rear of the premises.

The rescue emergency team arrived to find Anulak Phaklaechat, 30-years-old, lying half-dead on the pavement behind the building; her skull had been split open and blood masked her face. Anulak was sent to Phuket Hospital and is now in a coma.

After investigation, police discovered that the ballsy transsexual had climbed five stories from outside the building into one of the rooms which happened to be a tourist’s, to steal their belongings. The strong wind and rain had caused the transsexual to lose grip, slip and fall.

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak

Famous Panda Fell From Chair But Wasn’t Hurt

Photo Courtesy of Thairath

BANGKOK – Lin Ping, a famous baby Panda, left its enclosure to go on a long sunbath. Enjoying the good life, Lin Ping forgot some basic motor skills and fell off a chair. But we don’t need to panic, everything is okay.

Lin Ping was the name given to the panda after millions of people voted in a poll. Lin Ping’s mother is Lin Hui; a real big mama. Like the boy, Keiko Sato (story from a few days ago), Lin Ping has become a recent Thai media phenomenon, cushioning the stressful realities facing Thai society. Lin Ping is providing the much needed comic relief. Since birth, from when it was just a hairless rat-looking thing, to now, the dignified coat covered cutie with stripy black eyes; the media has followed every movement of Lin Ping’s life. In the photo above Lin Ping is dizzy from rolling around too much.

Lin Ping was recently the co-presenter at a lucky number plate auction.

Anyhow, this morning, the vet brought Lin Ping out for a sunbath session, and let it wander around the garden for half an hour before it was returned to the enclosure for some mother-milk-sucking.

Journalists examined the panda and announced that Lin Ping’s weight was still 10,360 grams, and its height, 78 centimeters. Lin Ping hadn’t changed much since the last inspection but its feet had grown by 1 centimeter. The panda's overall health is good too. Lin Ping showed no signs of missing its mother, and totally embraced the special occassion.

The highlight of the day was when Lin Ping fell off a seat. It climbed from behind the seat and did a front flip roll off the chair. The caretaker said that Lin Ping was not hurt.

So… this is the story that made today’s front page: “Lin Ping Fell off a Chair.”

This panda is Thailand’s latest media gag so laugh while you can and before you actually stop and think about it.

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak

‘Have sex with me or you’ll never see your phone again!’

Photo Courtesy of Khaosod

KONGAEN – A perverted teenager stole a mobile phone from a woman’s purse and threatened to keep the phone unless she had sex with him. The 24-year-old woman sighed and informed police.

The 16-year-old Cambodian teen was busted.

The mobile phone was stolen from the woman’s purse as she was getting off a bus. The teenaged sex fiend started calling the woman in the weeks that followed after seeing photos on her phone and feeling horny. He called her many times and threatened to not return her mobile if she didn’t have sex with him. He told her that he had picked up the mobile phone from somewhere.

The woman realized he was a big pervert and found it weird that his Thai was very bad. The teen, whose name is Venus, turned out to be a Cambodian laborer, working in SamRong market.

He confessed to stealing more than 30 mobile phones from random people, and if they happened to be attractive women, he would stalk and call them asking for sex in exchange for the return of their mobile phones. His plans were never successful though.

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak

Deaf Woman Tries to Sell Her Organs for 1.5 Million

Photo Courtesy of Thairath

BANGKOK – A deaf woman has asked Thairath Online to advertise her eyes and kidneys so that she can raise money to cure her ears. She has been declined treatment from public hospitals because her 30 baht ‘Cure All’ health insurance card does not cover her.

With no other options, Gaesirin Wutthiwong, 45-years-old, asked Thairath online to help her sell her organs: one kidney and one eye. Gaesirin has been deaf for a year and a half now because of a parasite living in her brain.

Dangerous fevers, severe migraines and aching pains around finger and toe joints led her to visit the hospital – but the hospital declined her 30 baht ‘Cure All’ Card. Doctors told Gaesirin that her case wasn’t covered under the policy.

Medical staff further advised her that treatment would cost 1.5 million baht and would require special surgical instruments. Only three hospitals in Thailand can perform the operation: Chulalongkorn Hospital, Rama Hospital, and Sirirat Hospital. All three have declined her case because she doesn’t have enough money.

“I begged them but everybody ignored me. Someone please help me, my condition is getting worse. I’m losing my sense of balance. Sometimes my eyes go fuzzy and I am losing memory,” Gaesirin said.

Gaesirin stated that if no one helps her or if her organs don’t make good sales, she will walk right into Prime Minister Abhisit’s office and ask for her ‘Cure All’ insurance rights.

In the photo above the text reads:

Help me please. Thairath is my last hope. I’m here to sell my organs, my kidney and one of my eyes. This is to find money to cure my ears which are deaf as a result of a parasite eating parts of my brain. My card is useless. They said they got no money to cure me, and that nobody would pay so much for me. Every single department of the government ignored me. It’s already been a year that I haven’t been hearing a thing. I plead to those kind hearts to help me, pay for me, or at least buy my organs. Gaesirin.

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak

Baby Cow with a Human Face

Photo Courtesy of MThai News

PHATTHALUNG – Phatthalung residents discovered a baby cow with a human-like face. Its body and head did not have any hair but other parts of the body resembled a normal cow. It died a few days after birth. Many people paid a visit to the dead human cow.

The owner, Thawee Pornduang, 64-years-old, said the mother of this strange cow was only pregnant for 8 months then gave birth. As a result, the cow was deformed and died not long after. Neighbors heard the news and came to see the cow almost everyday. Thawee said he will take the dead cow to Praduhom temple for the public to see.

Animal research officer, Manoon Nuujeenseng, had a less mystical view of the situation. He said the possible reason for the cow’s deformity was to do with the abnormality of sperm cells at conception, or that the mother cow ate some harmful substances by accident or that “someone” had made the cow pregnant.

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak

A Little More On Keiko Sato

Photo Courtesy of Khaosod

THAILAND – As the father and son arrived at Suvarnabhumi airport on the father’s final day in Thailand, a congregation of teary fans passed on gifts and flowers to Katsumi Sato, the father.

Before entering the gate, Katsumi kneeled down to hug Keiko and they both cried while embracing each other; a strong emotional charge was felt throughout the airport and many people began sobbing. Katsumi thanked Thailand again for the last time before disappearing through the departure gates.

Keiko Sato, when asked if he wanted to live in Japan with his father, simply shook his head. He doesn’t want to leave Thailand and only wants to go to Japan for a vacation.

Before leaving to the airport that night, the two had been on the TV Show, “At Ten,” and gave an interview on how Katsumi had met Thipmontha Sato, Keiko’s mother.

Katsumi Sato said that he likes Thai women because they are cute, good-looking, kind and joyful. The couple had met at Tha Luang temple and eventually got married and had Keiko.

Katsumi recalled that one newspaper in Japan covered the news on a Thai-Japanese boy, Keiko searching for his father. Not long after that, the Japanese embassy contacted him. He said that years ago he was learning Muay Thai in Thailand, when he met Keiko’s mother. He had stayed with her for three years before they separated. He tried to take Keiko, but the mother wouldn’t let him. Katsumi returned to Japan and never heard another word.

Katsumi Sato’s background in Japan is still unknown.

Katsumi returned to Japan in sorrow. Keiko said he will go visit his father in Japan soon. We can expect to receive full coverage in high definition.

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak

The Case of Keiko Sato

Photo Courtesy of Thairath

THAILAND – A while ago, a little 9-year-old half-Japanese boy appeared on national news, in search of his estranged Japanese father after his mother had died. The media immediately took to daily coverage to help Keiko Sato look for his father. It became an issue that everyone talked about. The Thai government contacted the Japanese Embassy to assist in the search. The boy was constantly in the media: TV news, radio and newspapers. One company even stepped in to make him a theme song and music video. But the case Keiko Sato seems to be more of a lesson in the power of the media and its ability to construct a form of truth in society through dramatization.

What we have now is a little boy surrounded by countless journalists and flash lights; the issue is more about celebrity than finding his lost father. The most common question he is asked is if he would be interested in taking a role in a TV drama series or as an advertisement presenter or show host.

Behind all the hype of Keiki Sato, there is the reality that many more half Japanese kids are abandoned. There’s even the case of one Thai mother who wanted her half-Japanese child to be in the spotlight of the media like Keiko after searching and fighting for so long. But they never did get the same privilege and support as Keiko.

The case of Keiko Sato reflects some serious issues in the Thai media:

1. The time and space given to the story shows that Thailand’s probably overwhelmed and bored with political issues and news of conflict. The boy searching for his Japanese father was the heartwarming story everyone needed. This shift is a clear exercise in the media’s power to control what kind of news people see or want to see. In the end, Keiko boy has become a stress-relief drama turned reality TV show, with the media more concerned about ratings.

2. The actual value of the coverage of Keiko’s case comes into question. The main goal of the boy was to search for his father and it was nice for the media to announce this on national television, requesting support, but why didn’t it stop there? The helping hand of the media has turned into a manipulative hand, coercing Keiko into the role of dramatist, emphasizing the boy’s hardships as well as the sympathetic, cute version of the boy dancing in music videos, which has resulted in an emotional and powerful grip on the public. In an office somewhere TV executives are jumping up and down and receiving pay rises.

After a period of media madness, the Japanese embassy tracked down Katsumi Sato, the father of Keiko Sato. Katsumi Sato agreed to board a plane to Thailand to see his son. The media followed Keiko Sato all the way to the moment he met his father. Katsumi Sato came down from the plane to meet an array of flashing cameras and swinging microphones. It seemed that every step of the boy and his father had been airbrushed, from the time the boy brushed his teeth, to the type of van he got on to go to the airport, and to what kind of shoes he was wearing.

The media circus went on reporting all day a meticulous record of the father and sons movements. Of how they went to the zoo, how tired they were, how they went for an exhaustive day at the water park, where a company looking for cheap advertising issued the boy with a 10-year free pass. They posed for cameras – an entire PR campaign. Everyone was trying to put their finger in it. Some organizations even tried to get the boy to become a mini-tour-guide, so that the boy could bridge the gap between Thai and Japanese culture. They went on a cruise in Chaopraya River. The media described and embellished the warm moments between the father and son while they chose food from an epicurean buffet. They also went to pay respects to the deceased mother of Keiko in Pichit province. The media never once failed to capture their every movement.

As reported by the media, Katsumi Sato, the father of Keiko, appeared to be very happy and glad how much care Thailand had given Keiko. Katsumi left last night, with Keiko crying, bowing on his father’s lap. The media, again, observed the drama with a less than candid eye. The father promised to come back to Thailand again next year during Songkran and has said to take Keiko to Japan when he’s ready.

However, the media has ignored many loose ends. Where has Katsumi been these 10 years? What kind of job does he have in Japan? Does he have a wife and children in Japan? Everything was overdramatized and oversimplified in the coverage. No informational background on Keiko’s father has been provided. The whole case is a set of drama episodes exploiting a young boy in search of love and family.

Now that Katsumi Sato has left, we will have to wait for the Thai media to find their next victim. What will be of Keiko Sato now?

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak

The Plastic Chair Robber

BANGKOK – A shameless thief has been borrowing tables and chairs from temples and trading them for cash on the black market.

Yes, there is a black market for everything.

Supaset Phayang, 28-years-old, is a genius robber who has been doing his rounds at temples and municipal areas; a large number of plastic chairs have gone missing.

Phayang’s hook is to ask people if he can borrow their chairs with no thought of returning them; he then sells the chairs for cash per kilo on the black market. This process has been repeated many times – temples have allegedly lost more than thousands of chairs.

Police recently caught up to the chair robber and raided his safe house fortified by plastic chairs. He has since been thrown in jail.

‘Supaset’ is the thief’s con name, his real name is Warapong. Characterized by strange behavior, he would go around to temples and communities borrowing plastic tables and chairs without returning them. Recently, Warapong approached a temple and asked to borrow 100 chairs for a blessing ceremony in a nearby village that didn’t have enough. Granted the permission, Supaset came to collect them from the temple with his pick-up truck. He appeared more casual than ever.

The tables and chairs did not return after seven days and rumors got around that other monastery’s had been robbed. When confronted, Supaset denied that he had borrowed anything from them. Villagers informed police immediately.

They tracked down Supaset and the thousands of chairs and tables he had stolen and distributed. A couple of commercial fans had also been stolen and sold to a second hand store called ‘Siam’. Police arrived at the shop to find chairs stacked at the back of the store: the names of temples imprinted on the back of them. The owner of the store said she bought the chairs for 11 baht per kilo and was charged by police for trading stolen goods. She had to pay 30,000 baht bail.

Supaset was then arrested and confessed to stealing the chairs and tables. He was also charged with drug possession.

Supaset said he had to use white-out to erase temple names from the backs of thousands of chairs and that the procedure had stressed him out real bad – drugs had helped him cope with the tedious process.

Courtesy of Thairath

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak

Temple Wall Collapses Onto Girl

Photo Courtesy of Thairath

PRACHINBURI – A wall outside Dong Praram temple collapsed onto a girl while she was climbing up to collect banana leaves for her mother’s rice pudding. The wall which was made of brick didn’t have a support structure or concrete finish. When it came down, the weight of it crushed the girl’s leg.

A rescue team in Prachinburi arrived to find the 13-year-old buried under a pile of red bricks; they removed the debris and found that the bones in her right leg were shattered.

A cast was made for her at the hospital (in the photo above); at this stage it is uncertain whether she will ever be able to walk normally again.

Investigations show that the absence of any support caused the 2.5m high wall to collapse. Before the incident occurred, the mother asked her daughter to retrieve banana leaves from a tree to make rice pudding for monks on Buddha day. The tree was too high for the little girl, so she used the wall to aid her. That was when it buckled.

Courtesy of Thairath

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak

Deadly Soccer Kick

KHAMPAENGPET – Jeen Timsee, 57-years-old, brought Wittavat Maneekiaw, 19-years-old, into the police station with Colonel Sirinon Padoongsheewit and charged him with murder. The victim’s name was Thinkorn Srigaew.

Wittavat confessed that during a soccer match, he was playing right wing, and the ball went out; Wittavat asked the victim to pick it up politely but the victim shouted back and raised his middle finger.

Wittavat became extremely angry and waited the whole game to find the right moment for retribution. While Thinkorn wasn’t paying attention, Wittavat rushed out onto the field and drop-kicked the victim with studded shoes; one kick was to the left ear and skull, the other to the neck – Wittavat then ran off the field in his soccer uniform. He found out later that Thinkorn was dead.

“I didn’t mean to kill him; I didn’t know studded shoes could be so dangerous.” Wittavat said.

The victim’s skull was fractured, his neck broken; the kick had been both accurate and deadly.

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak