Update: Body Piercer Grilled on ‘Vegetarian Day’

Photo Courtesy of Thairath

PHUKET – After the parade, a group of body piercers gathered to attempt thrilling stunts. One individual tripped over and landed face first in a mound of burning coal.

The man had tried to run and leap over the smoldering rubble but tripped and missed the landing. His body was nastily burnt; his skin melted. The man released a painful cry which sent a wave of commotion through the crowd participants and onlookers. It took a long time before anyone tried to help him.

So here we have it: ‘Vegetarian day’ in Phuket ends with a man being grilled alive.

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak

Vegetarian Day in Phuket – Body Piercers Lead Parade

Photo Courtesy of Thairath

PHUKET – Locals and tourists joined a parade led by body piercers to celebrate ‘vegetarian day’. The body piercers attracted a crowd of supporters by stabbing themselves with metal sticks, casing themselves in barbed wire, and doing a heap of other painful things.

The festival in Phuket is known for attracting a large number of male and female body piercers. A typical parade usually means completing a full round of the city.

The idea/belief is that only vegetables should be eaten on the day. But other than eating veggies, to reflect this belief, individuals pierce themselves with sharp objects - especially around their cheeks - to suffer in place of common people.

With the economic downturn, those who didn’t take part in the festival chose to consume vegetables anyway; many took lunchboxes to be filled with vegetables provided by temples. The temples apparently used 60 big bags of rice and 20 tonnes of vegetables to provide for everyone.

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak

Disabled Man Battles Pythons

Photo Courtesy of Khaosod

SRISAKAET – Thrilling. A disabled man with one leg managed to beat up two, three meter long pythons. The man was in the water, floating on a car tire, checking his fishing nets when two large pythons attacked him; they wrapped around him and tightened their coils. The man used the last of his energy to bite the necks of both pythons until they let go, then used the fishing net to trap them before carrying them home. Environmentalists said that recent floods have made snakes more desperate than usual.

Chatchawan Chaophitikul, 56-years-old, a man with one leg captured two large pythons, each around three meters in length. Chatchawan tied their heads up with a rope and left them beneath his house. Both pythons were very hungry and fierce. Villagers gathered around to observe the snakes with caution.

Instead of trapping trout, the fishing net Chatchawan had left in the lake the night before caught two large pythons. He recalls his chilling experience:

“When I saw the snakes caught in the net, I immediately paddled with both my hands to get myself closer. I wanted to save them, I was scared, but I did it anyway. But though, both the snakes were extremely heavy and large and wouldn’t let me touch them. So I tried harder to grab them, and that moment they both crawled onto me real quick and tightened around me, I felt like my bones were going to crush to powder. They wrapped around me completely and I couldn’t see a thing. One bit my wrist, I tried calling for help but nobody was there. To survive, I used my last strength to bite the first snake as hard as I could, then the second, and then alternated between them. It worked. They slowly loosened their grip on me. I pushed them back into the fishing net and dragged them home.”

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak

Tiger Wasp Nests Form New Security System for Temple

Photo Courtesy of The Nation Group

KALASIN, TH – At Wang Kam temple, monks attracted several tiger wasp nests to safeguard the temple from robbers after valuables like old Buddha statues and donation boxes.

The temple and its new security system are located on the outskirts of town, parallel to the mountains. Only ten monks reside within the monastery.

A reporter arrived at the temple to inspect the nests of these ‘security’ wasps – around 20 were found – some were near the monks’ sleeping areas; others were in the main hall and monastery. Each nest is full of tiger wasps buzzing in large numbers.

Euen Phansri, 67-years-old, the caretaker of the temple said that valuable treasures such as Buddha statues, accessories, donation boxes and other sacred items passed down from ancient Laos are irreplaceable.

As antiques, the items are worth a great sum and naturally, has become the target for many thieves. The temple has been robbed several times.

The monks knew something had to be done. A board was formed to deal with temple security; an innovative solution was raised and agreed upon; unusual tactics were soon implemented. At first the monks only grew a few nests, but as villagers began visiting the temple, more and more were donated.

No less than 20 occupy the temple. Villagers would go out at night to find newly formed hives, using cotton buds to block openings, and trap wasps inside. They would then hang the nests around the temple, pull out the cotton buds, and let the wasps expand their nests.


The strangest thing is that the tiger wasps do not attack monks or villagers who come to the temple with good deeds - but instantly assault robbers and people who come without paying respects or who do not bow when entering the temple. Many people have been stung for misbehaving.

Robbers coming to rob the monastery have been stung to near death.

The tiger wasps have certainly drawn much attention from religious practitioners, common villagers, and the media.

For my own home, I am now considering installing a wasp nest instead of a crappy, state of the art, two thousand dollar spot light/motion sensor alarm system. God knows it's cheaper.

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak

RoboCop: Stabbed by A Spartan Sword But Still Completed His Mission

Photo Courtesy of The Nation Group

PHITSANULOK – An iron-boned policeman managed to capture his suspect after being fiercely stabbed through the lungs with a Spartan sword.

The policeman, Thongbai Mhaksan, 46-years-old, went to settle a fight between two drunks. While trying to arrest the two drunks, one of them reached for a Spartan sword and plunged the sword into Thongbai’s chest, piercing his lungs. Thongbai didn’t give up and fought back with a Spartan sword stuck in his chest, leaving the two drunks livid with fear. He persisted until he managed to capture both the drunks. Thongbai was immediately sent to hospital and survived.

The chief of police in Phitsanulok told the press of Thongbai’s heroic feat: making an arrest with bloodied uniform and sword protruding from chest. The chief said the act was extremely courageous and honorable because he put his duties before his life.

Two of Thongbai’s colleagues recalled the incident:

“He was stabbed straight on with a Spartan and was still pushing it. He managed to lock both the drunks around his arms and sent them over to us. After that he pulled the Spartan sword out of his chest, blood sprayed out, and he was still standing. Then he handed the Spartan sword to me and told me to keep it as evidence.”

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak

Karaoke Bar Charges 30,000 Baht Bill

Photo Courtesy of The Nation Group

BANGKOK – An ex-policeman was shocked to get a 30,000 baht bill after spending three hours at a karaoke bar with his girlfriend. Even the candies had cost 100 baht each. The ex-policeman resisted payment at the front counter, arguing that the services were over priced; a bunch of teenagers affiliated with the karaoke bar then confiscated the couples mobile phones and forced the ex-cop to withdraw money from his ATM to pay the bill.

Attaphan Jaithiang, the ex-cop, 42-years-old, had gone to eat and sing with his girlfriend at Melody Karaoke near Ngam Wong Wan road and after negotiations, got the price of the bill down to 16,350 baht, in which Melody Karaoke said was a special discount. Attaphan’s mobile phone was also taken from him.

He immediately informed police about the incident at Melody Karaoke.
The couple’s night had happened like this: they entered the karaoke room and ordered a Red Label with soda. They got two more call girls to come and join them. The four drank and ate and sang together until half past eleven, when the bill came.

The total amount was 30,000 baht, in which Attaphan refused to pay. The bar indicated that the call girls cost 10,000 baht each and that three of the candies cost 100 each. There were many more unusual charges.

After discounting the price down to 16,350 baht, Attaphan said he had only 7,000 baht. A bunch of bad-ass looking teens came into the room and threatened him to pay or else he’d get some bruises. The gang then took two mobile phones and forced him to withdraw money to pay - 8,000 baht was taken out. Afterwards, they let him go.
Attaphan still hasn’t received the two phones back and was obviously robbed by the restaurant.

The police said reports regarding Melody Karaoke had been previously received but weren’t investigated. They said last week a group of young adults went in and couldn’t pay the bill and had to leave their BMW for the restaurant. Another man had to leave a motorbike with the restaurant as a payment for his bill. Police will now investigate.

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak

Model Exposes Her Seaweed: Disgraceful Ad

Photo Courtesy of Khaosod

CHIANG MAI – A degrading weight-loss advertisement has recently found its way onto billboards in Chiang Mai. The ad shows a model in a transparent bikini flaunting her “seaweed,” otherwise known as pubic hair. Locals are disgusted by the ads and have alerted media watch groups to these indiscreet billboards located at major intersections.

The ads are said to be damaging to the cultural elegance of northern Thailand.

Strategically positioned, the billboards are nonetheless grabby, attracting the attention of passing commuters. The message in the poster has a slim model showing her belly button and seaweed pubic hair and reads:

“SLIM WOWW! Change the old you into the NEW you at a university student price! Infrared sauna for 199 baht each time! Buy 20 sessions, GET 20 free. Within 2 weeks, you will look like a model. If it doesn’t work, you’re entitled to a 100% refund!”

Most commuters agree that the ad is very inappropriate for Chiang Mai as it demeans traditional values and the local people. People are saying that the offer on the ad seems overstated – that slimming down in two weeks is farfetched.

“I can’t be sure if it will work out like the ad says,” said a woman passing by.

The head of the Ministry of Culture in Chiang Mai said that pornographic ads should not be allowed in public and that people are too crazy about the image of sex these days.

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak

Woman Miscarried In Tesco Lotus’s Toilet

NAKORN RATCHASIMA – A toilet cleaner found a stillborn floating in the woman’s bathroom in Tesco Lotus. The mother said she had a miscarriage.

Police discovered the fetus in the toilet at Tesco Lotus and have sent it to be examined at Maharat Hospital.

The police later found the mother and questioned her. The mother said the miscarriage came as a shock and that she doesn't know what happened.

The woman is an employee at the MK restaurant and while she was serving a hot pot meat set, felt a sudden ache and asked the manager for a break. She rushed to the woman’s toilet and the fetus slipped out. She said she was very shaken and scared and did not know what to do. The mother and her dead fetus have been sent to hospital for examination.

Note: Tesco Lotus is a supermarket chain store

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak

Rapist Takes Two Girls on A Road Trip

Photo Courtesy of Thairath

SAMUT PRAKAN – A balding rapist took two girls on his motorbike and stopped at motels along the way to rape the bejesus out of them. He was caught on a surveillance camera and later arrested by police.

The victims were aged 10 and 13 respectively; they told police that the bald man had taken them on the back of his motorbike and travelled to different places to rape them. The rapist stopped at a number of motels, sending the girls on a kind of rape trail.

Police searched one of the motels that the rapist had stayed. Pisit Younghaipol, the 49-year-old owner of the motel took the police to see room 103. The one bedroom suite was painted bright pink – fitted with an air conditioner; television and sofa. A round bed occupied the room. Surveillance cameras in the motel clearly showed the balding rapist and the two girls enter.

The owner further told the police that the man, aged around 50, had come on a red motorbike, brand and plate number unknown – along with two little girls. At the time, the rapist said that the two girls were his daughters and that they were on vacation. He had paid 450 baht to stay the night.

The two girls were threatened and silenced by force throughout the ordeal. Police investigators are examining other locations where the man took them.

They are now in the care of the Women and Child Protection Foundation.

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak

Excitement over Headless Twin

Photo Courtesy of Khaosod

NAKORN RATCHASIMA – Local residents are excited about a strange baby corpse. The baby has no head or arms, only a body and two legs; a malformed female twin. The first twin is alive and well – there were no complications for the mother either. Doctors said the limbless baby had died inside the mothers womb. Doctors said it was a bit strange but not totally weird.

Relatives put the baby in a fish tank and prayed to it for five days. Locals travelled to see the baby, pleading for miracles and fortune.

After the delivery of the first twin, the doctor noted that something was strange about the second, and told the mother to push harder. What slipped out was a headless, armless baby.

The corpse will be buried after it rots in the fish tank, said the mother and other relatives. Until then, the headless baby will be a spectacle of wonder for locals –a kind of godly, stinking, putrid lump of meat.

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak