Get a Load of B

In Courtesy of Khaosod

NAKORN PHATHOM – One afternoon, a 50-year-old woman walked into her back garden and saw a large buffalo bear. Standing at two meters tall, it casually ate her bananas. Her dog barked at it repeatedly and the B-bear ran away into the woods near the village of Nakorn Phathom.

The village chief has since feared that the B-bear will hurt people and so set up a search team to track it down.

Over 30 villagers ventured into the woods for three days armed with wooden sticks.

After a somewhat hopeless search, they came up with the stupid idea of burning down the whole forest to get the bear out of its hiding. The fire took several hours to catch on and control and still no bear was found.

Moreover, the village chief contacted the parachute association to get five skydivers to survey the area. The exaggerated gesture reaped no results. The team only found claws marks and footprints but nothing else.

An old lady from the village claimed that several years ago she saw a similar buffalo bear eating her bananas and chickens in her backyard but no one believed her. And to this day there is no reason to believe her. She said the B-bear surely had to be the next generation B-bear from the one she saw.

Another old man from the village said that he was sure the buffalo bears live underground and have their own hiding place deep beneath the crust.

And why not throw in a theory that the B-bears secretly rule the world? And what a load of B! What a pile of codswallop! What a lark!

Can further news updates curb this skepticism? I doubt it.

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak

Wrong Man, Wrong Coffin

In Courtesy of Nation Group

ANG THONG – A man spent almost 30,000 baht on a funeral for his relative only to discover on the day that the corpse inside the coffin wasn’t his relative! Before cremating the body, the man opened the coffin to see his relative’s face for the last time and was bewildered. His relative is still alive!

Komkrit, 42-years-old, the host of the funeral said that he was informed by the deceased peoples’ identification foundation that his relative, Prachueb, 39-years-old, died of heart failure, and that he was identified as Prachueb.

The foundation sent the body to Komkrit a few days later – and along with several villagers in town, they held a funeral for Prachueb and scheduled for a cremation.

After performing several rituals, Komkrit, in tears, walked over to open the lid of the coffin and found that the face of the deceased looked nothing like Prachueb! Who the hell was it?

Komkrit was in shock and called Prachueb’s brother, to find that Prachueb is alive and well. Komkrit got hold of Prachueb’s number and talked to the man himself.
Prachueb told Komkrit that he had lost his ID card almost 10 years ago, and had never reclaimed a new one. There is no clue as to how Prachueb’s ID card ended up in the wallet of some unknown dead guy.

Komkrit, and his fellow villagers ditched the funeral having spent 32,555 baht.

The nameless dead man was registered as having no relatives at the time of death.

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak