Ginseng Gets Genitals Jumping!

Photo Courtesy of Thairath

KANCHANABURI – Recent hype about a licentious, ginseng root has brought residents to the woods in Kanchanaburi. Interest in the herb began from a rumor that it skyrockets the sex drive.

Armed with digging tools, villagers went in search of the strange plant. Apparently, when it is boiled and drank as a tea, the ginseng dilates blood vessels, elevates core energy, and gets your genitals jumping! Some merchants have already introduced the herb as a new product, selling it at markets for 1,000 baht per root.

The erotic ginseng was discovered by an anonymous local historian who refused to reveal his name. Many old people in the villages are spreading rumors that the plant was brought to the town by an allied army in the Second World War. It was used to keep soldiers on their feet. Thais, though, seem to place focus on the sexual benefits of the root. Many old people are purchasing the ginseng in hope of seeing their good old days return.

The districts chief said that the discovery is highly valuable and should be preserved for generations to come.

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak

Body Piercers Take It to the Next Level

Photo Courtesy of Thairath

PHUKET – On the last day of the “Vegetarian Festival,” body piercers took to a new level of madness. Finished with metal rings, gun barrels, and umbrellas, they turned to axes.

The group led a parade through the city, which consisted of the old to the very young.

First, the body piercers marked the center of their foreheads with axes to initiate the process. Then they lowered the axes and put them in their mouths. They seemed to enjoy their own blood lust.

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak

Grilled Swine Laid Out In Top Shopping Complex

Photo Courtesy of Chet Chetchotisak

BANGKOK – About a month ago, two pigs were grilled and displayed at Siam Paragon, a multimillion dollar, five-storey colossus shopping center with 500,000 square meters of retail space. The mall decided to feature the pigs at the entrance of a supermarket, despite its top reputation in Southeast Asia, as a luxury goods giant.

Foreigners, unaccustomed to seeing grilled carcasses alongside boutiques, were quite shocked and stopped to take photos. Some even posed with the dead piggies. In Thailand, not even gleaming, up-market shopping malls selling Lamborghini’s, can escape the occasionally, weird/unsavory displays.

The reason for the exhibit, is that grilled pigs are a popular cuisine in Asia; also a very famous Portuguese dish.

The images taken from my phone show how these swine might have contrasted with the vast, brightly-lit halls of Paragon (I'll let you imagine it). Children walking by would tap their fingers on the pig’s noses to check if they were still alive.

In the last week, Thai’s have been celebrating vegetarianism also known as “Kin Je,” where people are not allowed to consume meat. So… one week you have a few ugly, not to mention, dead pigs on display and the next you come out saying, “you shouldn’t kill animals and eat them!”

What is the point, other than total contradiction?

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak

Robbers Barge into Gas Station to Steal Panda Dolls

Photo Courtesy of Khaosod

BANGKOK – A robber barged into a Shell gas station in Ladprao with a gun, to steal panda dolls. The man pointed the gun at the attendant and threatened to pull the trigger if he didn’t hand over the dolls that were on sale.

Pornchai Anthasut, 20-years-old, the gas station employee was in shock after the robbery. He said that two male’s came to the station on a white Yamaha Mio and got 70 baht worth of fuel; one man had a mullet and the other, an afro. Neither had worn helmets.

As the two finished with the petrol bowser, the afro man caught sight of a popular panda doll on sale for 199 baht. The two men turned to Pornchai and said they wanted the dolls. Pornchai said they would have to pay for them.

The afro guy said, “I’m going to rob you if you don’t give them to me.” The bob hair guy then said to the afro guy, “hey we should go get our stuff first.” They then left the station, leaving Pornchai utterly confused.

Fifteen minutes later, the two men returned on their motorbike. The afro guy quickly hopped off and approached Pornchai, pointing a magnum at him. He directed Pornchai to a rack of panda dolls and took two before running back to the motorbike and fleeing. Pornchai, in shock, informed the manager of the store. They haven’t informed the police because the manager said the surveillance cameras did not capture the area near the panda racks and that police would not believe their story. Pornchai and his manager are still stunned by the fact that the two robbers were only after panda dolls and not cash.

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak

Update: Body Piercer Grilled on ‘Vegetarian Day’

Photo Courtesy of Thairath

PHUKET – After the parade, a group of body piercers gathered to attempt thrilling stunts. One individual tripped over and landed face first in a mound of burning coal.

The man had tried to run and leap over the smoldering rubble but tripped and missed the landing. His body was nastily burnt; his skin melted. The man released a painful cry which sent a wave of commotion through the crowd participants and onlookers. It took a long time before anyone tried to help him.

So here we have it: ‘Vegetarian day’ in Phuket ends with a man being grilled alive.

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak

Vegetarian Day in Phuket – Body Piercers Lead Parade

Photo Courtesy of Thairath

PHUKET – Locals and tourists joined a parade led by body piercers to celebrate ‘vegetarian day’. The body piercers attracted a crowd of supporters by stabbing themselves with metal sticks, casing themselves in barbed wire, and doing a heap of other painful things.

The festival in Phuket is known for attracting a large number of male and female body piercers. A typical parade usually means completing a full round of the city.

The idea/belief is that only vegetables should be eaten on the day. But other than eating veggies, to reflect this belief, individuals pierce themselves with sharp objects - especially around their cheeks - to suffer in place of common people.

With the economic downturn, those who didn’t take part in the festival chose to consume vegetables anyway; many took lunchboxes to be filled with vegetables provided by temples. The temples apparently used 60 big bags of rice and 20 tonnes of vegetables to provide for everyone.

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak

Disabled Man Battles Pythons

Photo Courtesy of Khaosod

SRISAKAET – Thrilling. A disabled man with one leg managed to beat up two, three meter long pythons. The man was in the water, floating on a car tire, checking his fishing nets when two large pythons attacked him; they wrapped around him and tightened their coils. The man used the last of his energy to bite the necks of both pythons until they let go, then used the fishing net to trap them before carrying them home. Environmentalists said that recent floods have made snakes more desperate than usual.

Chatchawan Chaophitikul, 56-years-old, a man with one leg captured two large pythons, each around three meters in length. Chatchawan tied their heads up with a rope and left them beneath his house. Both pythons were very hungry and fierce. Villagers gathered around to observe the snakes with caution.

Instead of trapping trout, the fishing net Chatchawan had left in the lake the night before caught two large pythons. He recalls his chilling experience:

“When I saw the snakes caught in the net, I immediately paddled with both my hands to get myself closer. I wanted to save them, I was scared, but I did it anyway. But though, both the snakes were extremely heavy and large and wouldn’t let me touch them. So I tried harder to grab them, and that moment they both crawled onto me real quick and tightened around me, I felt like my bones were going to crush to powder. They wrapped around me completely and I couldn’t see a thing. One bit my wrist, I tried calling for help but nobody was there. To survive, I used my last strength to bite the first snake as hard as I could, then the second, and then alternated between them. It worked. They slowly loosened their grip on me. I pushed them back into the fishing net and dragged them home.”

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak

Tiger Wasp Nests Form New Security System for Temple

Photo Courtesy of The Nation Group

KALASIN, TH – At Wang Kam temple, monks attracted several tiger wasp nests to safeguard the temple from robbers after valuables like old Buddha statues and donation boxes.

The temple and its new security system are located on the outskirts of town, parallel to the mountains. Only ten monks reside within the monastery.

A reporter arrived at the temple to inspect the nests of these ‘security’ wasps – around 20 were found – some were near the monks’ sleeping areas; others were in the main hall and monastery. Each nest is full of tiger wasps buzzing in large numbers.

Euen Phansri, 67-years-old, the caretaker of the temple said that valuable treasures such as Buddha statues, accessories, donation boxes and other sacred items passed down from ancient Laos are irreplaceable.

As antiques, the items are worth a great sum and naturally, has become the target for many thieves. The temple has been robbed several times.

The monks knew something had to be done. A board was formed to deal with temple security; an innovative solution was raised and agreed upon; unusual tactics were soon implemented. At first the monks only grew a few nests, but as villagers began visiting the temple, more and more were donated.

No less than 20 occupy the temple. Villagers would go out at night to find newly formed hives, using cotton buds to block openings, and trap wasps inside. They would then hang the nests around the temple, pull out the cotton buds, and let the wasps expand their nests.


The strangest thing is that the tiger wasps do not attack monks or villagers who come to the temple with good deeds - but instantly assault robbers and people who come without paying respects or who do not bow when entering the temple. Many people have been stung for misbehaving.

Robbers coming to rob the monastery have been stung to near death.

The tiger wasps have certainly drawn much attention from religious practitioners, common villagers, and the media.

For my own home, I am now considering installing a wasp nest instead of a crappy, state of the art, two thousand dollar spot light/motion sensor alarm system. God knows it's cheaper.

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak

RoboCop: Stabbed by A Spartan Sword But Still Completed His Mission

Photo Courtesy of The Nation Group

PHITSANULOK – An iron-boned policeman managed to capture his suspect after being fiercely stabbed through the lungs with a Spartan sword.

The policeman, Thongbai Mhaksan, 46-years-old, went to settle a fight between two drunks. While trying to arrest the two drunks, one of them reached for a Spartan sword and plunged the sword into Thongbai’s chest, piercing his lungs. Thongbai didn’t give up and fought back with a Spartan sword stuck in his chest, leaving the two drunks livid with fear. He persisted until he managed to capture both the drunks. Thongbai was immediately sent to hospital and survived.

The chief of police in Phitsanulok told the press of Thongbai’s heroic feat: making an arrest with bloodied uniform and sword protruding from chest. The chief said the act was extremely courageous and honorable because he put his duties before his life.

Two of Thongbai’s colleagues recalled the incident:

“He was stabbed straight on with a Spartan and was still pushing it. He managed to lock both the drunks around his arms and sent them over to us. After that he pulled the Spartan sword out of his chest, blood sprayed out, and he was still standing. Then he handed the Spartan sword to me and told me to keep it as evidence.”

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak

Karaoke Bar Charges 30,000 Baht Bill

Photo Courtesy of The Nation Group

BANGKOK – An ex-policeman was shocked to get a 30,000 baht bill after spending three hours at a karaoke bar with his girlfriend. Even the candies had cost 100 baht each. The ex-policeman resisted payment at the front counter, arguing that the services were over priced; a bunch of teenagers affiliated with the karaoke bar then confiscated the couples mobile phones and forced the ex-cop to withdraw money from his ATM to pay the bill.

Attaphan Jaithiang, the ex-cop, 42-years-old, had gone to eat and sing with his girlfriend at Melody Karaoke near Ngam Wong Wan road and after negotiations, got the price of the bill down to 16,350 baht, in which Melody Karaoke said was a special discount. Attaphan’s mobile phone was also taken from him.

He immediately informed police about the incident at Melody Karaoke.
The couple’s night had happened like this: they entered the karaoke room and ordered a Red Label with soda. They got two more call girls to come and join them. The four drank and ate and sang together until half past eleven, when the bill came.

The total amount was 30,000 baht, in which Attaphan refused to pay. The bar indicated that the call girls cost 10,000 baht each and that three of the candies cost 100 each. There were many more unusual charges.

After discounting the price down to 16,350 baht, Attaphan said he had only 7,000 baht. A bunch of bad-ass looking teens came into the room and threatened him to pay or else he’d get some bruises. The gang then took two mobile phones and forced him to withdraw money to pay - 8,000 baht was taken out. Afterwards, they let him go.
Attaphan still hasn’t received the two phones back and was obviously robbed by the restaurant.

The police said reports regarding Melody Karaoke had been previously received but weren’t investigated. They said last week a group of young adults went in and couldn’t pay the bill and had to leave their BMW for the restaurant. Another man had to leave a motorbike with the restaurant as a payment for his bill. Police will now investigate.

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak

Model Exposes Her Seaweed: Disgraceful Ad

Photo Courtesy of Khaosod

CHIANG MAI – A degrading weight-loss advertisement has recently found its way onto billboards in Chiang Mai. The ad shows a model in a transparent bikini flaunting her “seaweed,” otherwise known as pubic hair. Locals are disgusted by the ads and have alerted media watch groups to these indiscreet billboards located at major intersections.

The ads are said to be damaging to the cultural elegance of northern Thailand.

Strategically positioned, the billboards are nonetheless grabby, attracting the attention of passing commuters. The message in the poster has a slim model showing her belly button and seaweed pubic hair and reads:

“SLIM WOWW! Change the old you into the NEW you at a university student price! Infrared sauna for 199 baht each time! Buy 20 sessions, GET 20 free. Within 2 weeks, you will look like a model. If it doesn’t work, you’re entitled to a 100% refund!”

Most commuters agree that the ad is very inappropriate for Chiang Mai as it demeans traditional values and the local people. People are saying that the offer on the ad seems overstated – that slimming down in two weeks is farfetched.

“I can’t be sure if it will work out like the ad says,” said a woman passing by.

The head of the Ministry of Culture in Chiang Mai said that pornographic ads should not be allowed in public and that people are too crazy about the image of sex these days.

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak

Woman Miscarried In Tesco Lotus’s Toilet

NAKORN RATCHASIMA – A toilet cleaner found a stillborn floating in the woman’s bathroom in Tesco Lotus. The mother said she had a miscarriage.

Police discovered the fetus in the toilet at Tesco Lotus and have sent it to be examined at Maharat Hospital.

The police later found the mother and questioned her. The mother said the miscarriage came as a shock and that she doesn't know what happened.

The woman is an employee at the MK restaurant and while she was serving a hot pot meat set, felt a sudden ache and asked the manager for a break. She rushed to the woman’s toilet and the fetus slipped out. She said she was very shaken and scared and did not know what to do. The mother and her dead fetus have been sent to hospital for examination.

Note: Tesco Lotus is a supermarket chain store

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak

Rapist Takes Two Girls on A Road Trip

Photo Courtesy of Thairath

SAMUT PRAKAN – A balding rapist took two girls on his motorbike and stopped at motels along the way to rape the bejesus out of them. He was caught on a surveillance camera and later arrested by police.

The victims were aged 10 and 13 respectively; they told police that the bald man had taken them on the back of his motorbike and travelled to different places to rape them. The rapist stopped at a number of motels, sending the girls on a kind of rape trail.

Police searched one of the motels that the rapist had stayed. Pisit Younghaipol, the 49-year-old owner of the motel took the police to see room 103. The one bedroom suite was painted bright pink – fitted with an air conditioner; television and sofa. A round bed occupied the room. Surveillance cameras in the motel clearly showed the balding rapist and the two girls enter.

The owner further told the police that the man, aged around 50, had come on a red motorbike, brand and plate number unknown – along with two little girls. At the time, the rapist said that the two girls were his daughters and that they were on vacation. He had paid 450 baht to stay the night.

The two girls were threatened and silenced by force throughout the ordeal. Police investigators are examining other locations where the man took them.

They are now in the care of the Women and Child Protection Foundation.

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak

Excitement over Headless Twin

Photo Courtesy of Khaosod

NAKORN RATCHASIMA – Local residents are excited about a strange baby corpse. The baby has no head or arms, only a body and two legs; a malformed female twin. The first twin is alive and well – there were no complications for the mother either. Doctors said the limbless baby had died inside the mothers womb. Doctors said it was a bit strange but not totally weird.

Relatives put the baby in a fish tank and prayed to it for five days. Locals travelled to see the baby, pleading for miracles and fortune.

After the delivery of the first twin, the doctor noted that something was strange about the second, and told the mother to push harder. What slipped out was a headless, armless baby.

The corpse will be buried after it rots in the fish tank, said the mother and other relatives. Until then, the headless baby will be a spectacle of wonder for locals –a kind of godly, stinking, putrid lump of meat.

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak

Update On The Kid Killer

Photos Courtesy of MThai News

BANGKOK – Siripong Garnjananivit, 40-years-old, the killer who chopped up Sho Makino, a half-Japanese 5-year-old boy into 12 pieces pleaded for forgiveness in front of the boy’s picture. The man, in tears, wished for the child to go to heaven and to forgive him for his evil doings. He said Sho was a good, cute boy who shouldn’t have ended up the way he did. “If there’s reincarnation, I want him to be reborn as my son,” the killer said.

Siripong Garnjananivit was a taxi driver and had started a relationship with Sunan Srisuwan, the mother of Sho Makino. Her corpse had been thrown onto a side road; she was killed by Siripong.

Siripong confessed to murdering both the mother and son out of pressure and built-up anger. He told police that Sunan had asked him to kill her ex-husband, of which he refused. When Sunan kept repeating that she would send someone else to kill him if he didn’t do it for her, Siripong said he felt overcome and killed Sunan to defend himself. “I had no choice,” he said.

On the day of the murders, this is what happened:

Sunan, Sho Makino, and Mint Jongngamwilai (Sunan’s daughter who survived) arrived at Suvarnabhumi Airport. Siripong drove his cab to pick them up with a fully loaded colt revolver underneath his seat. As the car took off, Siripong reached for the gun and shot at the back-seats until he was out of bullets. Sunan and Sho Makino died instantly while Mint was injured and pretended to be dead. Siripong drove the taxi back to his apartment, took a shower, then carried the body of Sho into the bathroom and began cutting. Sunan and Sho were then left in a side street as stated in earlier reports. Mint, the daughter, survived because when Siripong found out she was not dead, he did not kill her. Mint is now recovering under the protection of police.

Siripong's daughter spoke in his defense in an interview, saying how kind and nice her father is. She blames Sunan for manipulating her father with threats and mind games.

When Mint, Sunan’s daughter woke up from recovery, she told police a very different story.

Police are not satisfied with Siripong’s motives and confessions. Investigations are still underway.

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak

79-Year-Old Woman Drug Dealer

Photo Courtesy of MThai News

SUPANBURI – A 79-year-old woman was arrested for drug dealing.

Police were informed by neighbors and later raided the old woman's home. They found stacks of amphetamines hidden in a rubbish bin in the kitchen. She confessed to selling amphetamines to teenagers in the village for 200 baht a pop.

She was sent to jail even in her ripe age.

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak

Kid Chopped Into 12 Pieces Left in Back Alley

Photo Courtesy of Thairath

BANGKOK – A 5-year-old boy was chopped into 12 pieces, stuffed into several trash bags, and thrown onto a side street. The corpse was fresh when it was discovered. The child had a good complexion and neat facial features. He had been shot in the mouth at near point blank range, leaving a gun powder stain across his right cheek. His back and both arms had been shot – all of them exit wounds. The corpse had been gruesomely divided into 12 pieces with delicate, precise cuts. A phone number and a long black hair wig inside the bags left police absolutely puzzled.

The coldblooded killer gave himself up yesterday and contacted the Thai News Journalists team. The body of a woman in a G-string has since been found.

What was the killer’s motive?

The trash collector was the first to discover the four black trash bags lying on the side street about a hundred meters into an abandoned Soi. He said he fed dogs in the area every morning before starting his day and on the morning he saw the four trash bags, thought someone else had left scraps for the dogs. The man tried feeling the bags, all of which were strangely soft. He opened one and found that multiple layers of bags had been tied up and a taped together around what was inside. When he finally managed to rip it apart, the head of a little boy poked out.

Police arrived and further examined the other bags and found the other parts of the body. Investigators said the bullet inside the boy’s head was near the back of his skull. His right cheek had a slash wound that parted down to his lips; the boys neck had been sliced with care and precision. Torn skin above the neck suggested that his head had been pulled and aggressively jerked .

The second bag contained only the naked torso with a bullet hole in the back; the third bag had two legs divided into four pieces, separating calf and thigh. The last bag contained the arms, also sliced into four pieces. The hands and fingers were missing.

The final object left police investigators confused: a black hair wig. Several theories were formulated. The boy was a homosexual, but at such a young age? The boy was an actor in a circus? Police were dumbfounded.

Later in the evening, a man contacted the Thai News Journalist team saying he had killed and cut the boy into pieces, and also killed a woman and dumped the corpse in Sad Lum Gaew.

The culprit’s name is Siripong Garnjananivit, 40-years-old, living in Bangkok. He confessed to killing his lover, Sunan Srisuwan, 38-years-old, the mysterious woman in the G-string. He said he did not have the intention of killing the boy at first, who was Sunan’s son from a previous relationship with a Japanese man. The reason for cutting up the boy, he said, was because he was confused and in tears at the time and began cutting the boy up before throwing the four bags onto the road outside. He did not know how the four bags ended up in an abandoned Soi a few hundred meters away.

So… that’s all – well have a great day everyone?

We shall wait for further investigations. More updates to come.

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotsiak

Gambling Monks Arrested

Photo Courtesy of Thairath

NONGKAI – Monks in Nongkai gathered for a session of gambling on the balcony of the temple. People passing by couldn’t stand the sight of it and reported them to the police for being disgraceful and irreverent to Buddhism. The 15 gambling monks dispersed in all directions like a nest of ants being stepped on; police only managed to take four of them into custody.

The monks had placed bets on coin spinning and coin flipping games for either heads or tails. They played right next to a road where everybody could see and immediately dispersed at the sight of police. Four of the monks were captured and 400 baht seized.

Surasak, the monk who had initiated the session confessed to inviting several monks and civilians from around the temple to join in a game of coin spinning. They had been playing three to five times a week. Surasak was the banker hand, betting from 5 – 10 baht each turn. The gambling turnover was around 500 – 1000 baht each time.

The police forced the monks to relinquish their monk status and change into normal clothes. They were relocated from the temple into jail cells.

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak

Transsexual In Coma

Photo Courtesy of Siang Tai News

PHUKET – A transsexual in Phuket thought she was Spiderman. She climbed to the 5th floor of an apartment building into a tourist’s room to steal valuables. It rained unexpectedly and began to storm. On the way back down she slipped and fell head first into the ground.

Ananthachai Gaewsumalee, 35-years-old, owner of Beach First mansion reported the incident to police. He said the transsexual had fallen from his mansion at the rear of the premises.

The rescue emergency team arrived to find Anulak Phaklaechat, 30-years-old, lying half-dead on the pavement behind the building; her skull had been split open and blood masked her face. Anulak was sent to Phuket Hospital and is now in a coma.

After investigation, police discovered that the ballsy transsexual had climbed five stories from outside the building into one of the rooms which happened to be a tourist’s, to steal their belongings. The strong wind and rain had caused the transsexual to lose grip, slip and fall.

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak

Famous Panda Fell From Chair But Wasn’t Hurt

Photo Courtesy of Thairath

BANGKOK – Lin Ping, a famous baby Panda, left its enclosure to go on a long sunbath. Enjoying the good life, Lin Ping forgot some basic motor skills and fell off a chair. But we don’t need to panic, everything is okay.

Lin Ping was the name given to the panda after millions of people voted in a poll. Lin Ping’s mother is Lin Hui; a real big mama. Like the boy, Keiko Sato (story from a few days ago), Lin Ping has become a recent Thai media phenomenon, cushioning the stressful realities facing Thai society. Lin Ping is providing the much needed comic relief. Since birth, from when it was just a hairless rat-looking thing, to now, the dignified coat covered cutie with stripy black eyes; the media has followed every movement of Lin Ping’s life. In the photo above Lin Ping is dizzy from rolling around too much.

Lin Ping was recently the co-presenter at a lucky number plate auction.

Anyhow, this morning, the vet brought Lin Ping out for a sunbath session, and let it wander around the garden for half an hour before it was returned to the enclosure for some mother-milk-sucking.

Journalists examined the panda and announced that Lin Ping’s weight was still 10,360 grams, and its height, 78 centimeters. Lin Ping hadn’t changed much since the last inspection but its feet had grown by 1 centimeter. The panda's overall health is good too. Lin Ping showed no signs of missing its mother, and totally embraced the special occassion.

The highlight of the day was when Lin Ping fell off a seat. It climbed from behind the seat and did a front flip roll off the chair. The caretaker said that Lin Ping was not hurt.

So… this is the story that made today’s front page: “Lin Ping Fell off a Chair.”

This panda is Thailand’s latest media gag so laugh while you can and before you actually stop and think about it.

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak

‘Have sex with me or you’ll never see your phone again!’

Photo Courtesy of Khaosod

KONGAEN – A perverted teenager stole a mobile phone from a woman’s purse and threatened to keep the phone unless she had sex with him. The 24-year-old woman sighed and informed police.

The 16-year-old Cambodian teen was busted.

The mobile phone was stolen from the woman’s purse as she was getting off a bus. The teenaged sex fiend started calling the woman in the weeks that followed after seeing photos on her phone and feeling horny. He called her many times and threatened to not return her mobile if she didn’t have sex with him. He told her that he had picked up the mobile phone from somewhere.

The woman realized he was a big pervert and found it weird that his Thai was very bad. The teen, whose name is Venus, turned out to be a Cambodian laborer, working in SamRong market.

He confessed to stealing more than 30 mobile phones from random people, and if they happened to be attractive women, he would stalk and call them asking for sex in exchange for the return of their mobile phones. His plans were never successful though.

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak

Deaf Woman Tries to Sell Her Organs for 1.5 Million

Photo Courtesy of Thairath

BANGKOK – A deaf woman has asked Thairath Online to advertise her eyes and kidneys so that she can raise money to cure her ears. She has been declined treatment from public hospitals because her 30 baht ‘Cure All’ health insurance card does not cover her.

With no other options, Gaesirin Wutthiwong, 45-years-old, asked Thairath online to help her sell her organs: one kidney and one eye. Gaesirin has been deaf for a year and a half now because of a parasite living in her brain.

Dangerous fevers, severe migraines and aching pains around finger and toe joints led her to visit the hospital – but the hospital declined her 30 baht ‘Cure All’ Card. Doctors told Gaesirin that her case wasn’t covered under the policy.

Medical staff further advised her that treatment would cost 1.5 million baht and would require special surgical instruments. Only three hospitals in Thailand can perform the operation: Chulalongkorn Hospital, Rama Hospital, and Sirirat Hospital. All three have declined her case because she doesn’t have enough money.

“I begged them but everybody ignored me. Someone please help me, my condition is getting worse. I’m losing my sense of balance. Sometimes my eyes go fuzzy and I am losing memory,” Gaesirin said.

Gaesirin stated that if no one helps her or if her organs don’t make good sales, she will walk right into Prime Minister Abhisit’s office and ask for her ‘Cure All’ insurance rights.

In the photo above the text reads:

Help me please. Thairath is my last hope. I’m here to sell my organs, my kidney and one of my eyes. This is to find money to cure my ears which are deaf as a result of a parasite eating parts of my brain. My card is useless. They said they got no money to cure me, and that nobody would pay so much for me. Every single department of the government ignored me. It’s already been a year that I haven’t been hearing a thing. I plead to those kind hearts to help me, pay for me, or at least buy my organs. Gaesirin.

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak

Baby Cow with a Human Face

Photo Courtesy of MThai News

PHATTHALUNG – Phatthalung residents discovered a baby cow with a human-like face. Its body and head did not have any hair but other parts of the body resembled a normal cow. It died a few days after birth. Many people paid a visit to the dead human cow.

The owner, Thawee Pornduang, 64-years-old, said the mother of this strange cow was only pregnant for 8 months then gave birth. As a result, the cow was deformed and died not long after. Neighbors heard the news and came to see the cow almost everyday. Thawee said he will take the dead cow to Praduhom temple for the public to see.

Animal research officer, Manoon Nuujeenseng, had a less mystical view of the situation. He said the possible reason for the cow’s deformity was to do with the abnormality of sperm cells at conception, or that the mother cow ate some harmful substances by accident or that “someone” had made the cow pregnant.

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak

A Little More On Keiko Sato

Photo Courtesy of Khaosod

THAILAND – As the father and son arrived at Suvarnabhumi airport on the father’s final day in Thailand, a congregation of teary fans passed on gifts and flowers to Katsumi Sato, the father.

Before entering the gate, Katsumi kneeled down to hug Keiko and they both cried while embracing each other; a strong emotional charge was felt throughout the airport and many people began sobbing. Katsumi thanked Thailand again for the last time before disappearing through the departure gates.

Keiko Sato, when asked if he wanted to live in Japan with his father, simply shook his head. He doesn’t want to leave Thailand and only wants to go to Japan for a vacation.

Before leaving to the airport that night, the two had been on the TV Show, “At Ten,” and gave an interview on how Katsumi had met Thipmontha Sato, Keiko’s mother.

Katsumi Sato said that he likes Thai women because they are cute, good-looking, kind and joyful. The couple had met at Tha Luang temple and eventually got married and had Keiko.

Katsumi recalled that one newspaper in Japan covered the news on a Thai-Japanese boy, Keiko searching for his father. Not long after that, the Japanese embassy contacted him. He said that years ago he was learning Muay Thai in Thailand, when he met Keiko’s mother. He had stayed with her for three years before they separated. He tried to take Keiko, but the mother wouldn’t let him. Katsumi returned to Japan and never heard another word.

Katsumi Sato’s background in Japan is still unknown.

Katsumi returned to Japan in sorrow. Keiko said he will go visit his father in Japan soon. We can expect to receive full coverage in high definition.

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak

The Case of Keiko Sato

Photo Courtesy of Thairath

THAILAND – A while ago, a little 9-year-old half-Japanese boy appeared on national news, in search of his estranged Japanese father after his mother had died. The media immediately took to daily coverage to help Keiko Sato look for his father. It became an issue that everyone talked about. The Thai government contacted the Japanese Embassy to assist in the search. The boy was constantly in the media: TV news, radio and newspapers. One company even stepped in to make him a theme song and music video. But the case Keiko Sato seems to be more of a lesson in the power of the media and its ability to construct a form of truth in society through dramatization.

What we have now is a little boy surrounded by countless journalists and flash lights; the issue is more about celebrity than finding his lost father. The most common question he is asked is if he would be interested in taking a role in a TV drama series or as an advertisement presenter or show host.

Behind all the hype of Keiki Sato, there is the reality that many more half Japanese kids are abandoned. There’s even the case of one Thai mother who wanted her half-Japanese child to be in the spotlight of the media like Keiko after searching and fighting for so long. But they never did get the same privilege and support as Keiko.

The case of Keiko Sato reflects some serious issues in the Thai media:

1. The time and space given to the story shows that Thailand’s probably overwhelmed and bored with political issues and news of conflict. The boy searching for his Japanese father was the heartwarming story everyone needed. This shift is a clear exercise in the media’s power to control what kind of news people see or want to see. In the end, Keiko boy has become a stress-relief drama turned reality TV show, with the media more concerned about ratings.

2. The actual value of the coverage of Keiko’s case comes into question. The main goal of the boy was to search for his father and it was nice for the media to announce this on national television, requesting support, but why didn’t it stop there? The helping hand of the media has turned into a manipulative hand, coercing Keiko into the role of dramatist, emphasizing the boy’s hardships as well as the sympathetic, cute version of the boy dancing in music videos, which has resulted in an emotional and powerful grip on the public. In an office somewhere TV executives are jumping up and down and receiving pay rises.

After a period of media madness, the Japanese embassy tracked down Katsumi Sato, the father of Keiko Sato. Katsumi Sato agreed to board a plane to Thailand to see his son. The media followed Keiko Sato all the way to the moment he met his father. Katsumi Sato came down from the plane to meet an array of flashing cameras and swinging microphones. It seemed that every step of the boy and his father had been airbrushed, from the time the boy brushed his teeth, to the type of van he got on to go to the airport, and to what kind of shoes he was wearing.

The media circus went on reporting all day a meticulous record of the father and sons movements. Of how they went to the zoo, how tired they were, how they went for an exhaustive day at the water park, where a company looking for cheap advertising issued the boy with a 10-year free pass. They posed for cameras – an entire PR campaign. Everyone was trying to put their finger in it. Some organizations even tried to get the boy to become a mini-tour-guide, so that the boy could bridge the gap between Thai and Japanese culture. They went on a cruise in Chaopraya River. The media described and embellished the warm moments between the father and son while they chose food from an epicurean buffet. They also went to pay respects to the deceased mother of Keiko in Pichit province. The media never once failed to capture their every movement.

As reported by the media, Katsumi Sato, the father of Keiko, appeared to be very happy and glad how much care Thailand had given Keiko. Katsumi left last night, with Keiko crying, bowing on his father’s lap. The media, again, observed the drama with a less than candid eye. The father promised to come back to Thailand again next year during Songkran and has said to take Keiko to Japan when he’s ready.

However, the media has ignored many loose ends. Where has Katsumi been these 10 years? What kind of job does he have in Japan? Does he have a wife and children in Japan? Everything was overdramatized and oversimplified in the coverage. No informational background on Keiko’s father has been provided. The whole case is a set of drama episodes exploiting a young boy in search of love and family.

Now that Katsumi Sato has left, we will have to wait for the Thai media to find their next victim. What will be of Keiko Sato now?

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak

The Plastic Chair Robber

BANGKOK – A shameless thief has been borrowing tables and chairs from temples and trading them for cash on the black market.

Yes, there is a black market for everything.

Supaset Phayang, 28-years-old, is a genius robber who has been doing his rounds at temples and municipal areas; a large number of plastic chairs have gone missing.

Phayang’s hook is to ask people if he can borrow their chairs with no thought of returning them; he then sells the chairs for cash per kilo on the black market. This process has been repeated many times – temples have allegedly lost more than thousands of chairs.

Police recently caught up to the chair robber and raided his safe house fortified by plastic chairs. He has since been thrown in jail.

‘Supaset’ is the thief’s con name, his real name is Warapong. Characterized by strange behavior, he would go around to temples and communities borrowing plastic tables and chairs without returning them. Recently, Warapong approached a temple and asked to borrow 100 chairs for a blessing ceremony in a nearby village that didn’t have enough. Granted the permission, Supaset came to collect them from the temple with his pick-up truck. He appeared more casual than ever.

The tables and chairs did not return after seven days and rumors got around that other monastery’s had been robbed. When confronted, Supaset denied that he had borrowed anything from them. Villagers informed police immediately.

They tracked down Supaset and the thousands of chairs and tables he had stolen and distributed. A couple of commercial fans had also been stolen and sold to a second hand store called ‘Siam’. Police arrived at the shop to find chairs stacked at the back of the store: the names of temples imprinted on the back of them. The owner of the store said she bought the chairs for 11 baht per kilo and was charged by police for trading stolen goods. She had to pay 30,000 baht bail.

Supaset was then arrested and confessed to stealing the chairs and tables. He was also charged with drug possession.

Supaset said he had to use white-out to erase temple names from the backs of thousands of chairs and that the procedure had stressed him out real bad – drugs had helped him cope with the tedious process.

Courtesy of Thairath

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak

Temple Wall Collapses Onto Girl

Photo Courtesy of Thairath

PRACHINBURI – A wall outside Dong Praram temple collapsed onto a girl while she was climbing up to collect banana leaves for her mother’s rice pudding. The wall which was made of brick didn’t have a support structure or concrete finish. When it came down, the weight of it crushed the girl’s leg.

A rescue team in Prachinburi arrived to find the 13-year-old buried under a pile of red bricks; they removed the debris and found that the bones in her right leg were shattered.

A cast was made for her at the hospital (in the photo above); at this stage it is uncertain whether she will ever be able to walk normally again.

Investigations show that the absence of any support caused the 2.5m high wall to collapse. Before the incident occurred, the mother asked her daughter to retrieve banana leaves from a tree to make rice pudding for monks on Buddha day. The tree was too high for the little girl, so she used the wall to aid her. That was when it buckled.

Courtesy of Thairath

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak

Deadly Soccer Kick

KHAMPAENGPET – Jeen Timsee, 57-years-old, brought Wittavat Maneekiaw, 19-years-old, into the police station with Colonel Sirinon Padoongsheewit and charged him with murder. The victim’s name was Thinkorn Srigaew.

Wittavat confessed that during a soccer match, he was playing right wing, and the ball went out; Wittavat asked the victim to pick it up politely but the victim shouted back and raised his middle finger.

Wittavat became extremely angry and waited the whole game to find the right moment for retribution. While Thinkorn wasn’t paying attention, Wittavat rushed out onto the field and drop-kicked the victim with studded shoes; one kick was to the left ear and skull, the other to the neck – Wittavat then ran off the field in his soccer uniform. He found out later that Thinkorn was dead.

“I didn’t mean to kill him; I didn’t know studded shoes could be so dangerous.” Wittavat said.

The victim’s skull was fractured, his neck broken; the kick had been both accurate and deadly.

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak

News Update: Mother Slaughters 5-Month Old Baby

It turns out the woman fed her baby milk, then stabbed it in the back ten times, then sliced the baby’s stomach, then took out its intestines and lay it out on the table.

Next, she wrapped the baby in a towel and sat at the front of the house and had no idea her baby was dead because her brain is toast; she’s loco, she’s cuckoo. She kept cradling the baby, rocking it back and forth to get it to sleep.

The husband comes home, as you will see in the video, and he’s completely distraught and can’t even blame his wife because she has no idea what she has done and he still loves her.

The husband says that his wife normally takes her pills but lately, had been throwing them away. On the day of the stabbing it rained so the wife didn’t go to work and stayed at home to look after the baby. In the video you will see that the baby has turned a pasty white.

Warning: this video is quite disturbing.

http://video.mthai.com/player.php?id=6M1254454047M0

Mother Slaughters 5-Month Old Baby

NONTHABURI – A mother suffering from schizophrenia knifed her 5-month old daughter; intestines and other organs gushed out from the child’s abdomen. The woman’s husband revealed her history of mental illness.

Police arrived at the apartment to find the woman, around 35 years old, wearing a round-necked sleeveless top and a sarong. Mad and out of control, she held the baby to her chest, fresh blood smeared all over her body. The dead child had a long slash wound across its stomach; intestines hung out and dangled midair. Police tried to calm the woman down verbally; after an hour she did, but would not let go of the baby, and warned police from going near her.

Initial investigations revealed the woman’s name to be Napaporn Yuesawang (Yuesawang meaning “Looking for Prey”, pretty ironic), and lives with her husband in a rented home. Her husband said that his wife has been very crazy lately; doing some very absurd things.

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak

Some People Just Suck at Dying

Photo Courtesy of Thairath

AYUDTHAYA – A woman has made ten attempts on her own life, from hanging to stabbing to drowning herself; most recently she tried to overdose on pills – all in the hope of escaping her accumulating debts. She has been lucky and survived all of the attempts – but she doesn’t see herself as ‘lucky’ at all.

Thongkam Pluekchan, 51-years-old, carried Laor Pluekchan’s body, his wife, to Uthai Hospital’s emergency room. Laor was foaming at the mouth and choking on her own vomit.

Doctors saved her in time, cleaned out her stomach and put her in the care of nurses.
Doctors said Laor must see a psychologist to regain her mental health.

Thongkam, the husband, said that his wife had been stressed and that she took 20 stress relief pills, 20 sleeping pills, and 30 gastric pills at once.

Thongkam came home, found his wife foaming on the floor; tried to rush her to hospital but as soon as he kneeled down to carry her away, she turned to him and said she wanted to die at the house and not the hospital. She told him to leave her alone.

Laor lay on the floor and continued to foam until she passed out. Without another thought, the husband rushed her to the hospital.

Thongkam said that his wife has tried to commit suicide since August. The first time, she hung herself but was rescued by her husband. Then she tried to stab herself but her husband managed to take the knife away and was himself, stabbed in the process. Next she tried to smash her head to a pole; jumped from a bridge into a river to drown; ate a hundred pain killers. She has been admitted to the same hospital ten times and has been saved by the same medical team each time.

Thongkam also said that he has to keep knives, sharp objects, ropes, and detergents away from his wife because she will use anything to kill herself.

Laor is deep in debt from three loan sharks who threaten her safety when she doesn’t pay up.

Her waking life is full of fear and anxiety and she wants to die to escape her debts. She said she’s getting sick now anyway, with a nerve problem in her right leg which makes walking painful. A work salary alone isn’t enough to repay the debts. She’s found it hard to even keep up food money. Every day is a new opportunity to die. Her husband has resigned from his job to keep an eye on her.

“Even right now, at this moment, I still haven’t given up the idea of suicide; I still want to die to escape my debt. No one can change my mind that easily.”

Courtesy of Thairath

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak

PE Teacher Kicks the Crap Out Of Student

Photo Courtesy of Daily News

AYUDTHAYA – A physical education teacher jump-kicked his grade seven student, breaking the child’s arm and hand. The 13-year-old boy had to get a cast, from hand to elbow. It all started in a soccer game.

The boy explained that his class had been playing soccer on a school field with teacher Bank (name) on the opposing team. While Bank was bringing up the ball, the boy budged into him and teacher Bank let the ball slip out of the line. The teacher, however, used his hand to stop the ball, trying to continue.

The boy rushed in and pinned the ball out of the teacher’s hand because he realized the ball was already out and should belong to his team. Bank became angry at this and did a jumping side kick into the boy, first hitting his side; then came the round house kicks.

“I saw the teacher angry so I apologized but he didn’t let it go. He forced me to kneel down and lick his shoes. I refused and he did jumping kicks into my side and when I couldn’t stand the pain anymore, I lifted up my arm to block but the final kick sent a snap through my arm and hand and I suddenly felt extreme pain. I then shouted out really loud and he left me on the field. He ordered everybody then to stop playing and return to the classroom. After I got home, I told my dad of the hand and so we went to get X-rayed. My arm was broken, and my hand was shattered because he kicked me so many times,” the boy recalled.

The father of the boy went to see the headmaster after the incident to settle the conflict but the headmaster said that Teacher Bank had disappeared and has not answer his phone. The father insisted that if Bank doesn’t show up, he will inform the police and sue Teacher Bank for hurting his son.

Courtesy of Daily News

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak