Husband Uses Drunken Fist to Placate Wife

TRAT – The 27-year-old man was drunk as he returned home from a funeral to his 36-year-old wife scolding him on the effects of alcohol addiction. He listened for a while as he opened a bottle of scotch. The man lined up shot glasses, shooting down one after the other.

When he was done, he stood up and swayed in the style of drunken fist. He grabbed his wife, who was still talking about alcohol addiction, and slammed her head into a cement pillar – poured another shot - then fly kicked her through a wall where she tumbled down to the edge of a creek behind the house.

A reporter wrote that before dawn today, Police Lieutenant Anocha Sansri stationed in Trat was informed of an incident where a victim was found dead in Thung Sao creek.

Police arrived on the scene to a cabana house with no unit number or official address.

The victim was found dead wearing a grey top, with blue jeans. Her name was Mrs. Lamai Thongnukro, aged 36; her head had been brutalized with kicks and punches and there was a large laceration above her right brow.

During investigations, Mrs. Boon Sukkranee, aged 60, mother of the victim, told police that the victim was home at around 11.30p.m.

Mr. Prathai Sammani, aged 27, and husband of the victim came home from a funeral in a drunken state. Loud arguments broke out but the mother dismissed it as the couples’ personal business and did not want to interfere.

At 3.30a.m., when Mr. Prathai, the husband, went to knock on the mother’s door, telling her to check out the dead body of his wife - the mother immediately called police.

The culprit admitted to killing his wife because he was angry at her for scolding him about drinking.

After he bashed his wife’s head into a cement post and fly kicked her through a wall, he went to sleep. At 3.30a.m. he woke up and was surprised to find that she was not sleeping next to him. He wondered where she had gone. ‘Hey!’ he yelled, ‘Come back to bed damn it!’

He looked around the house and discovered that a wall had been broken through. He looked through the broken wall, down into the shrubs, past a minor clearing, where his wife floated in the creek. He dragged her up to the edge and informed his mother in law.

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak

Goddess Hand Sprouts From Rose Pot

Photo Courtesy of Siangtai Daily

SONGKHLA - A journalist reports that villagers from Din Lan Place Moo 15, in Songkhla province, are transfixed by a strange mushroom that grew in the shape of a female hand.

The mushroom sprouted from a rose pot owned by Mrs. Somjai Thonggamgaew, aged 41.

White in color, the mushroom is said to be similar to the hand of Nang Kwak (a female spirit or household divinity in Thai folklore which brings prosperity). The mushroom has a repugnant odor similar to decaying flesh.

Mrs. Somjai, owner of the house where the Nang Kwak-mushroom was discovered, said the home reeked of rotten flesh for five days.

She tried to find the origin of the smell, suspecting a dead animal was in the house.

Mrs. Somjai looked in closets and drains and water pipes. But one morning, as she watered her plants she noticed a hand shaped mushroom protruding from her rose pot.

She had found the source of the smell and was shocked by the similarity between the shape of the mushroom and Nang Kwak’s hand.

Mrs. Somjai invited a Din Lan Temple monk to the house to meditate and communicate with the mushroom.

Mrs Somjai’s family are worried that the mushroom is a sign from their karmic messenger or household god.

When the monk came out of meditation, he informed the family that the Nang Kwak-mushroom was seeking reverence from the family. After hearing this, the family lit up candles and incenses – then prayed to the spirit - and prepared a bucket of holy water for everyone to drink. They also bought a statue of Nang Kwak to put on their shelf, in hope that good things will come to them.

Meanwhile, villagers stand outside the front gate of their house gossiping about the mushroom. They have employed the usual techniques to decipher future lottery numbers.

Courtesy of Siangtai Daily

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak

“Meat Just Sprinkled Everywhere.”

Photo Courtesy of Thairath

PATHUM THANI – At 7 am, Lieutenant Colonel Choetsak Naina of Pathum Thani police station reported that two kids had been run over by a bus, dead of course.

On Pathum Thani road, the Lieutenant and his team approached the scene of the accident to find Kittisak Charoenrat, aged 17, and Supasit Ketchit, aged 15, in unpleasant forms.

Both the victims had been students at the Military Craftsman School. A police officer summed up the carnage: ‘have you ever seen a meat lover’s pizza? You know, meat just sprinkled everywhere?”

A school bus, plate number 40-0758, was found parked in the middle lane, and a grey Honda Click, plate number 880, was jammed under the bus.

The bus driver, Mr. Somchai Thongyom, aged 44, made excuses for the horrific mess up. “I was… driving along until I reached the place where it happened. I think I noticed two motorbikes racing each other as I looked in the rear mirror and so quickly switched into the left lane.”

The bikers didn’t see another bike which was in front of the bus – and drove straight into it.

Mrs. Boonchuey Rungsaeng, aged 35, stated that while she was driving her motorbike to work, one of the two motorbikes from behind had knocked her down. She only suffered minor injuries.

The bike that ran into her lost balance and slid under the bus. The bikers were squished and torn apart.

The two kids were dragged for ten meters until they rolled out from under the bus.

The biker who had raced with the victims, was no where to be found. Police will seek further information but will most likely take the bus driver into custody.

“It wasn’t my fault,” the bus driver protested. But he wasn’t heard.

Courtesy of Thairath

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak

Hostage Taker Poses For Camera

Photo Courtesy of Thairath

CHACHOENGSAO – Well, it all looks a little set up – and so does the news report.

On the afternoon of August 4th, Lieutenant Colonel Charin Ngamwongnoi, chief of police at Saenphudat Police station, with his team, approached Prasartwittaya School to try and rescue a child who had been taken hostage by a feral, drunken sex fiend.

They saw Mr. Narong Phutotam, aged 29, foaming at the mouth. It is also believed that he is an employee at a local shrimp farm.

Madly drunk, he grabbed Phanchagarn Srisom, a 10 yr old kid and held a knife to his neck. The boy attends second grade at a local school. Hostage negotiators employed the usual dialogue to try and calm the man down – but after two hours, they were back where they started.

Another couple of hours passed, before police found the right moment to tackle the mad man and bring him down. The kid got away safe but has been left traumatized due to the incident. No one has suggested counseling.

Hmm, so that was the report... Don’t you think Mr. Narong has serious potential in stand-up comedy? And maybe even the kid? He kind of looks like he’s having a good time. Actually, they could even be a duo called, ‘ The Hostage Takers!’ And maybe… it’s even a little weird this story actually got in the papers?

What do you think of the whole thing?

Courtesy of Thairath

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak

Ex-Husband Goes On Dick-Snipping Rampage

Photo Courtesy of Daily News

PHETCHABUN – The man's eyes welled up with tears and his fingers picked at leaves as he prepared for what was to come. With his face to the ground, he felt the cool muzzle of the gun pressed against the back of his head. But with a flash of inspiration, the culprit suddenly decided to do it all a little differently. He held the victim down, undid his belt and chinos, stripped him of his underwear; pulled a pair of shears from his back pocket and snipped off the victim’s Johnson before throwing it into a nearby fishpond. Oooops!

The victim writhed along the ground like a headless chicken while the culprit left in his pick-up truck. In the photo above, a woman at the hospital stares at the penis she knows is not there.

The ex-wife of the culprit revealed that she had only been with the victim for a month and that the culprit was her ex-husband. They had separated for a long time, so the incident came as a shock.

At 19.00 hours, Police Captain Chatri Senaphayung at Yoiwangchompoo Police Station in Phetchabun received a report on a man who had been attacked on a road side near Gamnan Jun farm.

On site, the captain and his team followed a trail of blood which led to the victim who was by then, dying of major blood loss. He was immediately sent to Phetchabun hospital.

The victim is known as Mr. Anan Nanok, age 36, a production employee of Saha Farm Co.,Ltd. He sustained severe head injuries from being struck with wooden planks, and his severed penis left only a stub. He groaned throughout medical treatment at the hospital.

When the victim’s condition was stable, he told police that before the incident, he had just come back from planting rice seeds with his girlfriend, (the ex-wife) Mrs. Kimphan Wankong, aged 44. They had been just 200 meters away from where he was attacked. As he rode home on his motorbike, ten people in a pick-up truck charged him holding knives and bats. They lunged at him and knocked him to the ground.

One of the culprits brandished a revolver and pointed it at the victims head. The culprit was about to pull the trigger when suddenly he changed his mind, turned to his friends and whispered something. They all laughed. The ten of them stripped the victim’s clothes off and held him down. One of the culprits reached for the victim’s scrotum and penis - then closed a pair of shears on them. The culprit threw the severed appendage into a nearby fishpond; then they all left in the pick-up truck. The victim recognized one of them as Mr. Lae Chamnanthup: his girlfriend’s ex-husband.

Mrs. Kimphan stated that Mr. Lae was her ex-husband who she had separated from years ago. She was allegedly horrified at the cruelty of what he had done and could not understand why it had happened. She and the victim had only been seeing each other for a month and have not extensively developed their relationship as the victim has not been in Phetchabun for very long.

Captain Chatri stated that all the culprits have since been identified. A reporter also added that the medical teams at Phetchabun hospital were unable to reattach the victim’s penis as it was never recovered from the fish pond.

Most likely eaten I’d say.

Courtesy of Daily News

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak

Gold Rush! 920 Gallstones Found In Lady Sets New World Record

Photo Courtesy of Thairath

NONG KHAI – If you stare at this photo for long enough you might start to feel a little hungry. The thought of someone having an abandoned mine shaft in their digestive tract, filled with nine hundred and twenty crystallized deposits is…uh… appetizing? Anyways, I’d recommend this story with a bit of egg on toast.

The chief administrator at Yuparatchathabo Hospital recently announced a new record in gallstone laparoscopy: 920 gallstones found in a woman from Nong Khai. The excavation set a new world record in gallstone extraction surgery.

The Thai surgeon pioneering this trendy procedure only took seventeen minutes to complete the operation. Word has spread fast and many rock-heavy Laotians are now swimming and boating across the Mekong River to get treatment. Some swimmers have sank in the deep water and warning signs have since been placed on the river side explaining that people should avoid swimming with rocks in their stomachs.

Doctor Wattana Parisri, the chief administrator of Yuparatchathabo Hospital in Nong Khai province, stated that in June, the hospital had the opportunity to participate in a health event in Vientiane, capital of Lao Peoples Democratic Republic. The Thai embassy in Vientiane assisted in setting up a medical booth at the event. Many Laotians showed great interest in the hospital’s health care services; and were particularly heavy on issues regarding the gallbladder and digestive tract.

Doctor Wattana also mentioned that in the last two to three years, Yuparatchathabo Hospital has had an increase in the number of medical services offered to Laotians coming from across the Mekong River to Thailand.

The increase has come as a result of the hospitals exalted reputation in gall bladder and liver gallstone surgery. Yuparatchathabo hospital also topped rankings in a number of other gallstone treatments with over 5,000 patients.

Approximately 10% of people over the age of forty in the eastern provinces of Thailand appear to have gallstones in their gall bladder or liver. Medical professionals are unsure why this is the case. It could be genetic; maybe it’s the drinking water; or perhaps people are having pebbles for dinner.

Doctor Wattana further stated that medical surgeons in Yuparatchathabo hospital are highly proficient in performing gallstone procedures. Using a laparoscope, operations are typically finished in 15 to 30 minutes. Patients are back at home within a few days. The wounds made for the laparoscopes are small and do not cause much pain.

Crowned as the world record holder of gall stones, Mrs. Khamfong Duangsomsri, aged 53, walked out from the operating theater after seventeen minutes of surgery. At 920 gallstones, the figure topped world rankings for most gallstones extracted from a person. The previous record stood at 232 gallstones. Mrs. Khamfong is considering a career in Television.

The hospital also has plans of it own: to develop gallstone technology and to become the main hub in the Asian-Pacific for gallstone laparoscopy. The hospital also hopes to lift standards in orthopedics in order to attract patients both domestically and internationally.

So, what of the 920 stones? Maybe Mrs. Khamfong could use them for a bit of cheap landscape architecture? Build a Japanese Zen garden. Anyways, there’s a gold rush going on at Nong Khai so find yourself a donkey and leave first thing in the morning. Ho Ha!

Courtesy of Thairath

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak

Haunted House of Fire

BURIRAM - The owner of a funeral services and coffins business is getting ready to vacate his home after more than fifty fires began on his premises in the period of a month. He has lost nearly a million baht in business revenues and four of his employees have since quit due to fear.

Unable to prevent or find an explanation for the fires, the man contacted a Cambodian necromancer in an attempt to purge the house of evil; the owner speculated that his business competitors placed a hex on his home to awaken dark spirits.

Buriram district police believe that the phenomena has scientific basis. Or at least they hope there is.

The home is situated at 85 Monkeyhead house in Buriram. The owner, Mr. Vitoon Chuenjit, 25 yrs old, runs the funeral business along with his family and employees. Together they witnessed and experienced over fifty unexplained fires in the house in the first month of living there.

They initially thought that business competitors had used black magic to put curses on them and invited a group of monks to exorcise bad spirits. But even after the rituals, fires continued to ignite from thin air.

Vitoon recently gave an interview stating that the fires appeared from morning until evening. It first started on a long piece of cloth used to decorate funerals; then a plastic plant pot caught on fire, and finally it was the coffins placed at the front of the house. Surveillance cameras were of no use either. Even after installing them and protecting the front entrance with spiritual seals – the cause of the fires could neither be discovered nor prevented.

Vitoon further stated that the fire couldn’t be the result of an arsonist or damaged electrical wirings, as all such possibilities have been checked. He instead believes that a kind of supernatural power is responsible. Each time he has distinguished a fire, he has discovered a pile of bone ashes.

Since news has spread to the press, Vitoon’s family has been without privacy. Large groups have gathered around the house, sometimes all day long, to wait and witness the fire. Vitoon has since decided to shut the gate to his house for the safety of others.

Mr. Vitoon Chuenjit continues to state that his business has suffered greatly from the incident, with the loss of customers and a decline in revenues worth a million baht in cash value. Moreover, four of his employees have quit as result of the incident.

But Vitoon has not given up just yet. He insisted that he will remain in the business because he took it over from his father; and is now planning to move to the Amplaimat district.

Police at Buriram are still trying to find the cause of the fires – and as determined as they are to discover a scientific explanation – the fires continue to burn with human remains.

Video footage about The Haunted House of Fire will soon be uploaded onto Bangkok Allegory.

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak

Famous DJ Gets Acid Splash

Photo Courtesy of Thairath

RAYONG – Two men wearing motor cycle helmets had concealed receptacles of potent acid in their over coats, as they attended a famous restaurant where a handsome young DJ was working. Carefully planned, the culprits lured the young DJ outside and poured the acid onto his face.

The victims left eye may be permanently blind; the left side of his neck has been burnt and disfigured, and his chest, severely blistered. The victim had worked as a DJ for the restaurant – and had been quite popular as a result.

The culprits had stopped by the restaurant and asked for a waiter to call the DJ over. The unsuspecting victim approached the men, who he thought were a pair of merry diners, before he was sprayed with acid in a surprise attack. The motive is believed to be love related.

The incident was reported at 22.00, to Lieutenant Colonel Chatchai Inthonphuk, stationed at Klang Police station in Rayong who received the call about the victim being splashed with acid in a restaurant called ‘Bann Khiang Din’. The well-known bistro is in Soi Arikhun district.

The officer and his team went to the site immediately, and arrived to find the restaurant still open to service. Everything appeared normal, but outside a group of workers and night clubbers appeared shocked as they spoke about the incident.

The victim, Mr. Surasak Hoiraya AKA DJ Bank, twenty two yrs old, had already been sent to Klang Hospital. Police conducted inquiries at the restaurant before continuing their investigations at the hospital.

The young man was found to be severely injured: his left eye completely swelled shut, his neck and chest blistered and marred. Medical teams did their best to reduce skin damage.

After further questioning, the victim told the officer he had only worked as a DJ for restaurant for a week. Before the incident, he had been taking music requests from customers and a waiter named Oh had told him there were visitors for him. He immediately thought it was his friends. Surasak walked out to the entrance of the restaurant to find both culprits dressed in long coats and motorcycle helmets. When the victim walked closer, they suddenly splashed acid onto his face and injured another waiter in the process.

The culprits immediately fled on a Honda motorbike. The victim had no idea what the motive was.

Police stated that since the victim was a good-looking young man, a DJ, and a singer at other venues, with many female fans – Surasak probably had unseen enemies.

The victim has a wife. Police have analyzed the case and concluded that the incident had been carefully planned and further stated that suspects may include girls he had been interacting with. Other potential suspects include, males who failed to court women as a result of the victims presence. Further investigations may take place.

Courtesy of Thairath

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak

Elevator Turns Into Jaws of Death

Photo Courtesy of Daily News

BANGKOK – A man was crushed by an elevator in the office of J.M. Apparel Ltd in Sathorn. Office workers, police and emergency personal were unable to pull him from the vice like grip.

The office was a four-storey building with a large apparel export business. On the third floor near the carriage elevator, emergency crews faced a horrible image. The body of Mr. Somsuan Koetsuk (first name means: a perfectly proportional body and the last name means filled with happiness and joy) age 52, a messenger of the company, was crushed by an elevator that fell on his body stuck between the entrance and the elevator shaft. The rescue team immediately tried to lift the elevator with tools but the man succumbed to his massive injuries.

From investigation it was known that Mr. Somsuan Koetsuk and friends had tried to take a large pile of fabrics in the elevator up to the second floor. When the lift reached the floor, Mr. Somsuan started to move the fabrics out but the elevator suddenly continued upwards onto the third floor. Unprepared, Mr. Somsuan fell leaving his upper body at the elevator entrance, and his lower body in the shaft. Mr. Somsuan had tried to pull out his wedged lower half, but the elevator had a mechanical failure and continued to grip him. A number of employees at the company tried to help him out before calling the police over.

Now that Mr. Somsuan Koetsuk’s body is no longer proportional people are suggesting that it may not have been an accident. The police are also investigating the incident further as they are not completely convinced by the way the lifts operated. Something seemed rigged.

Courtesy of Daily News

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak

Conjuring Lottery Numbers or Conjuring Superstition?

Photo Courtesy of Daily News

THAILAND – A flock of Phitsanulok villagers paraded around a Takian tree believed to have been enchanted with good fortune; they caressed the tree – rubbed their nether regions and hind quarters on the trunk like animals in a turf war.

Others who considered themselves to be more well-educated, simply pleaded on their hands and knees.

The villagers were seeking lottery numbers - and it seemed the only way to get them was by rubbing the tree until a number like, 245-292-290-84 appeared.

Elsewhere, in Samut Sakhon, a strange looking cluster of mushrooms sprouted up in a mans garage. The owner, amazed at the phenomenon, suggested that supernatural powers were at work, since plant life could not survive, let alone thrive in the deficient soil.

After the mushrooms appeared in his garage, the mans business profits allegedly soared. He has since enclosed a protective fence around his mushrooms.

In Nakhon Si Thammarat, another congregation of villagers rushed to see a large gecko and a centipede fight to the death. Like in watching bullfighting and other lethal sports involving the vicarious experience of death, villagers felt a body-aching thrill as the centipede was eaten by the gecko. And yes, you guessed it -it was seen as sign of good luck.

When monthly lottery announcements are around the corner, many ticket buyers go out of their way to find a mystical means of winning.

Reporter, Nakhon Si Thammarat, accounted an unusual incident occurring at a house in the Thungyai district involving a gecko and a centipede. The two creatures were pit against each other in a battle that lasted ten minutes . The gecko was bitten many times, but held onto its foe in a fight to the death. The result of the match became the news of the village. Elders nodded at one another, acknowledging it to be a miracle. Those who witnessed the fight quickly deciphered lottery numbers from the result – don’t ask how - but then quickly bought lottery tickets.

On the other side of Thailand in Phitsanulok, a journalist reported on villagers parading around a Takian tree, located near Phaktop creek.

The so-called Takian trees were discovered during a creek excavation two months ago. Ten of these trees have since been found. Villagers have wrapped them in colored fabric – a show of enlightenment. Villagers have named a particular tree, Mae Soi Sudajan, meaning ‘the lady of the moon necklace.’ News of the trees has spread far and wide and the area has become something of a tourist attraction for those desperate to find magical lottery numbers.

Amidst the crowd, a man who identified himself as the sage of lottery numbers stepped out to tell the villagers that the Takian tree will give accurate lottery numbers for two consecutive months. The statement caused further excitement among the community, bringing one another wave of lottery frenzy.

Most villagers seem to agree that, 245 292 290 84, is this months lucky number.

Not over yet - in Samut Sakhon, a reporter was informed of mushrooms growing in the garage of Mr. Naret Parnthong’s repair shop. The mushroom story drew quite a crowd to the premises - and Mr. Naret told the reporter that he had first seen the mushrooms growing from the ground, believing they were ordinary mushrooms. However, as they grew, he continued to be amazed at the quality and vitality of the mushrooms; an unnatural occurrence considering the deprived soil they sprouted from. On average they have measured in at ninety centimeters in width and thirty centimeters in height with a diameter of around twenty six centimeters.

Mr. Naret has since sealed off the mushrooms after reporting that he has made financial gains as a result of their discovery. Unsurprisingly, villagers are also trying to decipher hidden messages from the mushrooms in order to buy lottery tickets.

It really couldn’t be any easier... or crazier.

Courtesy of Daily News

Writer: Adrian Tse & Chet Chetchotisak